Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam

Seems like I'm in the mood of using part of Malay proverbs as title for my posts. The full peribahasa Melayu reads, `Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan'. It is an advice on not doing things at half-measure.

I've used this proverb so many times and yet I have never fully known what the word `pekasam' means. Until last week, that is. But we will get to that part shortly. I first like to continue with the story of my nephew's wedding from the previous post.

Some of you commented on the poignant moment when the groom cried while hugging his mother after the nikah procedure was over. This touching scene caused all the aunts (and some uncles) to shed tears too. The significance of the moment can be understood by knowing some history. Twenty-seven years ago, Fathhullah Azmie, was born two months premature. When he came out of his mother's womb, he was slightly larger than an adult's palm. The first month of his life was spent in an incubator. It was a touch and go situation. His parents were not sure he would make it. By the grace of Allah, he pulled through and survived. He has grown up to be a fine young man who is now a medical doctor posted in the rural outback somewhere in Pahang and on the way to starting a family of his own.

The nikah ceremony actually started in jovial mood. My wife's siblings are mostly jolly folks. We like to poke fun at each other. As we say in Malay, memang kuat bergurau. The bride, Nur Wahidah, being the newest addition to the family, is not spared either. But she's a good sport and she took all our jests in her stride. The following incident illustrates an example.

The day after the akad nikah is the reception at the bride's home and it includes the bersanding ceremony. Our entourage arrived at the reception right on time and assembled at the road junction a few metres from the house. The bride was supposed to come out and meet her groom outside, after which both of them would walk together side-by-side towards the wedding dais.

All of us from the groom's family waited in line for Wahidah to come out. When she arrived, she stood in front of us expecting to be paired with her groom but Fathhullah was nowhere to be seen. We were all mischievously grinning when one of the groom's sister jokingly said, `Alamak! Kita lupa bawa suami awak la... Nampaknya tak boleh nak bersanding hari ni.'

Wahidah nonchalantly replied, `Takpe... bersanding dengan Ucu pun boleh.' Ucu in this case, refers to the groom's uncle who is also my wife's youngest brother (he's the guy holding the mike for the groom in one of the pics in the earlier post). As it happens, Ucu is still single.

We all had a good laugh.... way to go, young lady. You'll fit right in with our family.

The groom's entourage upon arrival at the bride's house for the bersanding ceremony

The bride wondering where her husband is. The groom is quietly sitting in the Camry behind her.

Jangan lah masam muka... kitaorang gurau je!

Upon arrival at the house, we heard two loud bangs. This young man fired the shots into the air, apparently as a form of greeting to the newly-weds. I had him pose proudly with his gun for this pic. Talk about a shotgun wedding!

Indahnya pengantin bersanding atas pelamin

The groom's family. My three nieces in this pic are all still available

Right... now back to the story of pekasam. Before the bersanding ceremony that morning, we went to the Pekan Rabu in Alor Star to look for some breakfast. At a foodstall on the ground floor, the wife and I had some mee hoon sup utara while our son had something called nasi goreng brazil (see pic above). How's that for being creative in naming a dish!

After breakfast, we browsed the other floors of the Pekan Rabu and came across some stalls selling ikan pekasam. It is the first time I've seen the pickled fish as they are not available in Johor. I later found out the the pekasam process involves fermenting the fish (generally the fresh water variety) in dry-roasted ground rice plus some salt. The two main ingredients of pekasam, namely fresh-water fish and rice, are widely available in the northern states as compared to the south. That is why I never came across pekasam before, except in a Malay proverb.

The array of ikan pekasam sold at Pekan Rabu includes ikan puyu, ikan sepat and ikan lampam

There's something new to be learnt everyday. Now if only someone can explain to me the `menyeluk sampai ke pangkal lengan' part...

Ikan di laut, asam di darat

It has been a very busy weekend. My nephew who is originally from Johor Bahru, got married to a sweet young lass from Alor Star in Kedah. On Saturday, we made the long travel up north as part of the rombongan pengantin lelaki (groom's entourage).

After the bernikah (wedding vows) ceremony, we took the opportunity to visit a brother-in-law of mine in Kangar, Perlis. We have just now returned back to JB from Kangar, a drive of around 750km. I have now driven the full length of the North-South Expressway.

The groom's father now lives in Rawang, Selangor. Next weekend is the reception at his place. It means that, for three consecutive weekends, I'll be doing some long-distance driving and becoming a loyal customer of Plus Expressways Bhd. Thank god for energy drinks.

So please pardon me if this post contains more pictures than text. I'll write about the wedding and the trip up north in upcoming entries.

My congratulations to Dr. Fathhullah Azmie Bin Nawawi and Nur Wahidah Binti Abidin. May the coming years be filled with warmth, joy and understanding.

Selamat Pengantin Baru. Semuga kekal hingga ke anak cucu.

The groom showing his array of gifts to the bride

The groom with his three sisters

Nine trays of hadiah hantaran

In the mosque with the Tok Qadi reading out the khutbah nikah

The Tok Qadi cracking a joke to relieve the groom's nervousness

The groom reading out his lafaz takliq

All clear... time to put pen on paper

The bride signing her agreement to be a wife

The groom is all-smiles even before the ink on the paper has dried

Handing over of the dowry from husband to wife

Part of the bride's gifts in return include a Sony Playstation 3. Now that's new!

The groom in an emotional embrace with his mother when it is all over and done

Footnote : The title of this post refers to a Malay proverb which in whole, reads : Ikan di laut, asam di darat. Dalam belanga bertemu jua. I do not know of an English equivalent but the approximate meaning is that though two hearts may be far apart (figuratively, of different worlds), it is destiny that they would meet one day and be joined in matrimony.

A good makan spot in Setapak, KL

I was first introduced to Penang char kuetiaw when I was handling a project in Butterworth some years back. I had asked my secretary of a good place to have dinner one evening and she recommended that I try this popular char kuetiaw stall in Bukit Mertajam. I have never been to Bukit Mertajam before but I'm the sort of guy who's game enough to go exploring wherever there is good food to be found.

So armed with simple directions on how to get there, I took a drive to BM in search of the place. After a few tawafs of BM town, I found the stall. And yes, the char kuetiaw tasted good. When I got back to Kuala Lumpur, I found a few stalls around the Melawati area that sold similar tasting char kuetiaw but not as delicious as the one I had in Bukit Mertajam.

Recently, on Astro's Warung Kita programme, they showed a makan place at Taman Bunga Raya near TAR College that sells Penang char kuetiaw. It is called Mali's Corner. On one of my trips to KL last month, I tried to look for this place. I found it... but good lord, the queue to get your plate of the dish was so long! I was terribly hungry and could not afford to wait, so I had something else at another stall.

When we were in KL again last Sunday, my sister-in-law informed us that Mali's Corner has opened a new branch in Setapak Indah. We decided to give it a try.


The new Mali's Corner is a decent-looking restaurant within a row of newly-built shops at an area called Platinum Walk. There are a number of other restaurants on the same row, so you actually have a good choice if you fancy eating something else.

This new restaurant is more upmarket than the original establishment, which is really just a roadside stall. But they still practice the same system of self-service. You go up to the counter to place your order, wait for a few minutes for the kitchen to sizzle-up your char kuetiaw, collect and it bring it to your table. The price of a plate is understandably a bit higher now but not by much. A small plate costs RM4, the large plate costs RM5 while the special plate is priced at RM6.50.

We had the large plate. It tasted not bad at all... on par with what I had at Bukit Mertajam. Certainly worth the RM5.

Mali's Corner also sells nasi lemak with ayam goreng panas. I am told this dish tastes delicious too. I'll be certainly trying this out on our next trip to Setapak.

One less member in the house

The signs of me entering the veteran phase of my life is becoming clearer by the day. On Saturday, we sent our second son for registration at UiTM in Shah Alam. He is doing Kursus Asasi Sains and if he does well, hopes to continue to study Medicine.

Another of our offspring has flown the roost, so to speak. Our household has one less member, and since we are not a big family to begin with, the relative quietness of the house is becoming more pronounced.

Registration day at UiTM Shah Alam for Asasi Sains students

Two brothers having fun before one is left behind to stay at the hostel

We have only three children, all boys. The eldest flew away to study at an overseas university. With the second one now in college, it leaves only the youngest son at home. My third boy is 14-years old... so I guess we have another three years at least, for us to bermanja-manja with our anak bongsu. After that, it will be just the missus and me... two elderly folks growing old together. Hopefully, we would not be getting on each other's nerves too often.

When I was dating my wife many, many years ago, this issue of how many children we would like to have was discussed once... but it was more of in jest. She asked me how many kids I wanted. Hmm... let's see, I said. My parents have five children and you have thirteen siblings... so why not we meet half way, say nine kids. She let out a loud laugh.... hahaha! No way, she said.

Over the years, I would meet with old friends or long-lost relatives whose questions would include the standard `Anak dah berapa sekarang?'. My response would always be : `Anak baru tiga' instead of the expected `Anak dah tiga', the former implying that we have three kids for now but hope for more to come. If my wife is around when the question is being asked, she would correct the answer to the latter.

This wish of having more children has crossed my mind a number of times, especially since we have no daughters. It concerns me that my wife would not have a daughter to help take care of her in old age. Having seen the ailments that my late mother-in-law suffered, I know that there are certain things only a daughter can do.

But I have never been the one to pressure my wife on this subject. The choice of stopping at three was entirely hers. When I mentioned about who is to take care of her when she's old, she simply replied, `Let's hope that we get very good and kind-hearted daughter-in-laws.'

At times like these, the common adage of `It's the quality and not the quantity that counts' becomes a appropriate, even though it is just a small measure of self-comfort. In Malay we say, `Sekadar untuk menyedapkan hati.'

We have three healthy, intelligent and well-behaved sons. We know some friends and relatives who have only one child... and some friends and relatives who have none. We should count our blessings.

Interlude - Man vs Woman Process Flow

Here's an interlude for this month of May. It comes from my forwarded emails category. Click on the graphics for a larger view. Better still, right-click on the images and then `Save Image As' to your own PCs so you can forward them at your own pleasure.

Thanks to my pal Amir who gets such humourous snippets from God knows where :-)

Apasal complicated sangat ?