I have been mulling about posting on this subject for some time now... the reason being that it touches on something that makes me feel a bit sore. But I decided that it may actually be good for me to write about it so that many years later I can read about it again and recall that being knocked down once in a while is part and parcel of life. And since this is the last day of the year, it seems a good time to close the issue and move on for better things.
Regular readers of this blog may recall an earlier post in March about my job transfer from my hometown in Johor Bahru to the head office in Kuala Lumpur. I wrote about that change and my hope that it would bring me some good. Actually, it didn't.
After only four months working in KL, I was told by my boss that I wasn't needed anymore. To put it in crude terms, I was fired. The official reason given was that the company was feeling the economic pinch and the directors have decided to downsize the staff. But I wasn't born yesterday... the real reasons are not that difficult for me to speculate.
What really disappointed me was that my move from JB to KL was at the request of the boss, purportedly on the need to have someone of senior experience to lead the team of young engineers and also to represent the boss at high-level meetings with clients. I initially declined to be transferred, preferring to be released from the firm so that I can look for another job in JB itself. I have been on the move for so many years in my career and I thought that the time has come for me to stay in one place. The boss pleaded with me a few times and I finally decide to accept the transfer because I believed that it would be good to share my knowledge with the young engineers. I made the move to KL in February this year but my family was left behind in JB. In my first day at the new office, the boss expressed his deep appreciation for my decision to come over. His words of thanks were so superfluous that it embarrassed me a bit to think that I am that valuable a staff to him.
Not even half a year in my new post, in June I was given a letter of termination. Although the termination comes with some monetary compensation, the principle of it is entirely wrong. You don't retrench someone whom you asked to join just a few months earlier. Now tell me if that doesn't leave a sour taste in your mouth...
So that is why my friends, I have been taking a break from blogging for a while, just to cool my nerves so that I am not tempted to type posts that would contain nasty words.
Many friends who knew of my situation came to give words of support and encouragement... you know, the standard stuff of : things happen for a reason, you'll be tougher after this episode, God has planned better things for you etc... But the real considerate friends are those who are willing to sit with me over a glass of teh tarik and simply listen to my grumbles and rantings. Listening to my grumbles won't change a thing... but it helps release the tension in my mind and body, and allow the calm to return.
Perhaps as a means to pacify myself, I say that this event is the thing I need to push me to do something on my own and to pursue that unfulfilled ambition. And that someday, I would probably thank my former employers for giving me that push.
Well.... as it is for now, I am on my way to chase that ambition. But until I do achieve what I hope to achieve, any words of gratitude will not be forthcoming.
Happy new year to all friends and readers. Selamat Tahun Baru Masehi 2011. May the Almighty grant you all your wishes. Stay healthy and happy always...