Saturday 30 April 2011

Billy and Kate get hitched

Pic borrowed from The Telegraph
So William of Windsor and Catherine of Middleton tied the knot yesterday huh? I am totally out of the loop in this matter. Didn't catch it on the telly nor read about it in the online news pages... until a few minutes ago.

Anyway, the just concluded royal wedding in London reminded of the time when William's parents got married in July of 1981... really doesn't feel like that long a time ago. I was into my second year of life in the UK as a student. Charles was getting married to Diana although most people know his heart was somewhere else. Diana was the darling of the press and all the other loyal British subjects. It was the wedding of the century... I did not watch yesterday's event so I can't comment if the son's wedding is as grand as his parents.

Princess Diana performed her role splendidly during her initial years of being the next possible queen of England. She did a lot of charity work and handled publicity quite well. When news got out that she was pregnant, the whole nation was excited. As she neared the time of giving birth and scan results indicate a boy, bookmakers were taking bets on what the name of the new prince would be. `Henry', `Richard' and `William' quickly became the leading favourites, being names of past English kings. Just as an aside, the bookies in UK are willing to accept your wager on almost anything, not just the normal sports events. They even have a respectable name for the bookies taking bets on horse-racing... turf accountants, they are called. No doubt these guys make more money than the chartered accountants who are hired to prepare company accounts.

Ok, back to the first son of Diana... I remember very well on how I got to know which name was chosen. I was walking back from the supermarket and saw it written on the evening newspaper billboard. A simple blurb saying, `Prince Billy!'

And now, 28 years has passed us by. Diana has left us for good quite some time back. Kate Middleton, a common English lass, has married her prince charming.... probably a fairy tale dream she never realised would ever come true. Hopefully, the new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge reach the part of `... and they lived happily ever after', perhaps erasing the sad memories of what happened to the Prince and Princess of Wales.

Wednesday 27 April 2011

Another sign of growing old

I prepare to go to work this morning. I start my car and waited a while for the engine to warm up. A call came in my mobile phone. I answered the call and spoke for a few minutes.

On completing the call, I put my car in gear and drove off. The engine felt heavy and sluggish. Laa... meragam lagi kereta aku ni. I just had the car serviced last week. Be prepared to spend more money, I thought.

I reach my workplace. I park the car and was about to pull the handbrake. Ooops! The handbrake is already in the up position. I have been driving with the handbrake on all this while. Aduh....

Thursday 21 April 2011

Lost in translation

I recently switched to using Google Chrome as my default online browser a few weeks ago after having used Firefox for a number of years. I initially tried Chrome for a while but switched back to Firefox because I hated re-learning new steps. But then a friend mentioned that Chrome is faster so I tried it again... and indeed it is so.

I then noticed that a pop-up dialog box keep coming up whenever the browser detects that the page I am viewing is not in English. Apparently Google has included an auto-translator function. I didn't find the pop-up particularly bothersome and it never crossed my mind to give it a try... until a few days ago, when I wrote the previous story of the tembusu tree in Malay.

Out of curiosity, I clicked the `translate' button, just to see how good Google's translation skill is... and I had a good laugh! Sorry, no intention of mocking Google's effort but reading the whole post again in translated English gives the impression that it was written by someone who did not finish grade school. I'd be very ashamed of myself if it had been my actual work.

Having been involved in real-life translating work myself, I can confirm that translating written text from one language to another is not easy by any means. To be able to produce a good result, you need to be in top command of both languages, meaning not only having knowledge of the rules of grammar but of context as well. This is where present-day software is not yet able to match the human brain.

To give you an example, the following is a sentence, in Bahasa Melayu from the previous post :
Anak-anak murid kelas tuisyen ini seramai 6 orang, 4 lelaki dan 2 perempuan.

The auto-translator's version is :
Children's tuition for pupils of this group of 6 people, 4 men and 2 women.

Ignoring even the wrong sentence structure, the proper translation for `lelaki' and `perempuan' is `boys' and `girls' respectively.

So, for readers of this blog who do not understand Malay but wish to know what I wrote about, go ahead and use the auto-translator but please allow a (very) wide berth in discrepancy.

Having said that, the auto-translator is not entirely useless. I find it convenient to get the meanings of words not written in the Roman script, say for example Japanese or Russian. In this respect, I cannot fault Google for giving it a try. Perhaps one day there would be a brilliant software engineer who is able to incorporate context, style, inference and nuances in translator applications.

Saturday 16 April 2011

Pohon Tembusu

Setelah beberapa tahun bekerja sebagai seorang guru di sebuah sekolah di bandaraya, saya akhirnya dapat bertukar ke sekolah yang tidak jauh dari kampung saya. Memang sudah lama saya berhasrat untuk berpindah balik ke kampung. Anak-anak saya semuanya sudah dewasa dan mempunyai kerjaya mereka sendiri. Suasana aman dan tenteram di kampung sangat saya rindui. Lebih-lebih lagi saya masih ada ibu tua yang tinggal keseorangan, jadi memang eloklah saya mohon pertukaran tempat bertugas itu.

Sebelum berpindah, saya sempat membina sebuah rumah baru di atas sebidang tanah yang tidak jauh dari rumah ibu saya. Tanah tersebut asalnya sebuah dusun kecil dan sebahagiannya ditumbuhi hutan belukar. Banyak juga wang yang saya perlu modalkan untuk membersihkan tapak tanah itu jadi saya buat yang mana perlu sahaja dulu. Antara yang tidak ditebang ialah sebatang pokok tembusu yang tumbuh hampir dengan sempadan tanah. Pohon tembusu itu tersangatlah besar. Tingginya saya anggar melebihi 30 meter dan mungkin berumur beratus tahun. Memang memakan masa hendak menebangnya. Lagipun kedudukannya tidak menghalang pembinaan rumah, jadi kami buat keputusan untuk membiarkannya dahulu.

Beberapa bulan pertama saya duduk di rumah baru itu dengan gembiranya. Jiran-jiran sekeliling kebanyakan adalah saudara mara saya juga. Sekolah tempat saya mengajar tidak jauh dari rumah. Tidaklah lagi perlu saya mengharungi trafik jem setiap hari pergi bertugas.

Atas permintaan beberapa orang saudara mara, saya bersetuju untuk mengajar tuisyen kepada anak-anak mereka, kiranya anak-anak buah saya juga lah. Kelas tuisyen dibuat di rumah saya dan bermula pada 8.30 malam. Anak-anak murid kelas tuisyen ini seramai 6 orang, 4 lelaki dan 2 perempuan.

Semasa mula-mula mengajar mereka memang problematic sikit. Jelas sekali pendedahan sistem pembelajaran kanak-kanak di desa jauh berbeza dengan kanak-kanak bandar. Tambahan pula, yang budak-budak lelaki empat orang itu nakal-nakal belaka. Tetapi disebabkan semangat hendak menolong saudara, saya teruskan usaha untuk mendidik mereka.

Setiap malam bila tiba waktu kelas tuisyen bermula, saya boleh tahu ketibaan kumpulan murid ini dengan bunyi riuh rendah mereka bila sampai di hadapan pintu pagar rumah. Bunyi kelentang-kelentung gate dibuka disusuli dengan sorak ketawa budak-budak berlari dari pintu pagar itu yang jaraknya lebih kurang 20 meter dari rumah. Suara ketawa biasanya dari budak-budak lelaki sahaja. Yang perempuan bunyi marah atau geram. Setiap kali sampai di rumah mesti semuanya termengah-mengah.

Saya pun bertanya, mengapa mesti berlari.

Salah seorang dari yang perempuan menjawab, `Diaorang ni Cikgu (sambil menunjuk ke arah budak-budak lelaki), suka nyakat kami! Diaorang kata ada hantu tinggal kat atas pokok besar tu. Siapa yang last sampai kat rumah Cikgu nanti kena cekup. Tu yang kami lari laju-laju!’ Pokok yang dimaksudkan itu ialah pohon tembusu besar yang terletak betul-betul sebelah pagar pintu masuk.

`Hish, mana ada!,’ saya berkata. Sambil menoleh ke arah seorang budak lelaki yang saya anggap sebagai kepala, saya cakap, `Abu! Tak elok kamu takutkan kawan-kawan kamu. Jangan buat macam ni lagi.’ Abu hanya menunjukkan muka selamba. Yang budak-budak lelaki lain tersengih-sengih.

Marahlah macam mana pun, perkara yang sama tetap berlaku. Maka kelas tuisyen saya setiap kali dimulakan dengan senaman larian dari pintu pagar hingga ke rumah.

Sehinggalah satu hari beberapa minggu kemudian…

Murid-murid saya sampai ke rumah malam itu dengan keadaan tertib dan senyap. Saya teramat pelik. Tiada bunyi riuh dan berlari-lari sebagaimana biasa. Pada mulanya saya tidak bertanya apa-apa. Semasa mengajar pun kesemuanya senyap dan menumpukan perhatian terhadap apa yang saya ajar. Abu, yang selalu paling bising dalam kelas, pun kelihatan begitu tekun.

Tidak boleh menahan kehairanan saya lagi, saya pun bertanya, `Eh Abu, kenapa kamu senyap je malam ni? Selalunya tak habis-habis menyakat orang…’

`Heheh… takde apa-apa Cikgu,’ jawab Abu. Dia terus menunduk untuk menyiapkan latihan yang telah saya beri.

Saya pun duduk sebelah murid perempuan bernama Atikah dan bertanya, `Kenapa semua orang diam dan rajin je hari ni?’

Atikah merenung ke muka saya dengan keadaan serba salah. Setelah beberapa ketika, dia berbisik kepada saya.

`Cikgu… tadi ada orang dah marah kat kami. Suruh belajar rajin-rajin dan jangan main-main.’

`Orang mana?’ saya bertanya.

`Orang yang tinggal kat pokok besar tu,’ jawab Atikah.

`Orang tu rupanya macam mana?’ saya bertanya lagi.

Wajah Atikah berubah jadi keliru. `Tu Cikgu, dia duduk kat belakang Abu tu. Dia ikut kami dari depan gate tadi. Cikgu tak nampak ke?’

Giliran saya pula untuk menjadi cemas. Memang saya tidak nampak sesiapa di belakang Abu. Saya berbisik kembali, `Dia masih kat situ?’

`Ada, Cikgu…’

Saya pun membuat keputusan untuk menamatkan sesi pembelajaran malam itu dan memberitahu anak-anak murid saya, `Err… malam ni kelas tuisyen kita tamat cepat sikit. Cikgu pun rasanya nak tidur kat rumah sepupu Cikgu kat sebelah tu. Kamu semua jangan balik dulu ye. Temankan Cikgu sampai sana…’

Nota kaki : Cerita di atas adalah berdasarkan kisah benar... cuma identiti watak-watak telah diubah untuk memelihara yang berkenaan.

Wednesday 13 April 2011

Automated banking services

Nowadays, we are so used to using machines for our daily banking transactions that we ignore the fact the first ATM was invented and came into service before most of us were even born. The Automated Teller Machine was invented by a Scotsman named John Shepherd-Barron who thought of the idea after being locked out of his bank. The first cash dispensing machine was made available to customers by Barclays Bank at their branch in Enfield town in England in 1967.

After the ATMs, banks offered us other machines to help us do transactions without the need to approach the counter. Someone came up with the brilliant idea that since we have a machine that spits out cash, why not have a machine that swallows it? Hence the Cash Deposit Machine or CDM. But why just stop at cash? We now have the cheque deposit machine too.

The convenience of having such machines is plainly obvious. I am now able to do the most routine of my banking needs outside office hours when parking would be much easier (have you noticed that bank branches are always located where parking is notoriously so difficult?). The flip side of this is I seldom get to meet the human bank tellers anymore and somewhat miss the personal interaction of such occasions. I can assure you there are quite a number of sweet and helpful lady tellers out there...

I was attempting to make a cash deposit at a machine last night when I realised that I am a customer of most of the major banks in Malaysia. I say `attempting' because the machines at this particular bank were out of service. This is where the performance of such machines differentiates the level of service from one bank to another. For the past few months, making a loan repayment via their CDM has been quite a chore because the machines have difficulty in accepting legitimate new notes, especially the RM50 ones. I have sent feedback via their website earlier this morning. Let's see if they reply within the 2 working days as stated.

Ok then.... before readers get any wrong ideas, I must clarify that being a customer of so many banks does NOT mean I have tons of money. Some are savings accounts while others are loan accounts and credit cards. In fact, I owe the banks more money than what I have kept with them. How I wish it can be the other way round.

Friday 8 April 2011

Madu Tiga

Three fruit juice drinks...
Madu itu manis... tetapi bermadu itu pahit.

The beauty of this somewhat controversial Malay phrase is in its subtle reference to the connection between something that can be both sweet and bitter. In all likelihood, it was a woman who first uttered these words, perhaps someone on the unfavourable end of a marital relationship.

`Madu' here of course refers to honey, while the `bermadu' part is the situation where a man is married to more than one wife. It has long puzzled me how the tasty product of bees can lend its name to polygamy. The virtues and healing properties of honey is well-known. Even the holy Al-Quran mentions this fact. On the other hand, stories of bitter polygamous marriages far outscore those of the `happily-ever-after' kind... at least the ones that I have personally heard anyway.

It may be interesting to note that in English-speaking regions, the word `honey' is also used as a term of endearment that one would call one's spouse or sweetheart. Alas, its Malay equivalent does not normally carry the same tone of affection.

Malay men, especially those of a certain age-group, can talk about this subject of bermadu for hours on end, without the slightest feeling of boredom or fatigue. Some purposely speak about it in front of their wives, either in jest or with hidden intentions. But based on my observations, those who openly talk about it, rarely actually do it. Mostly it is the silent and innocent-looking men who are the crafty ones.

The movie Madu Tiga is one of the more famous film by the late P. Ramlee. It tells the story of a certain En. Jamil who manages to marry three women, initially without any wife knowing about the other two. Such a scenario is practically impossible in present-day situation... but if there is such a man who can do it, then I tip my hat to him.

Okay then... lest I incur the wrath of my lady friends, I'll end this post by telling that Just Observations is 3-years old today. Thank you to all friends, readers and commenters for keeping me company.

Tuesday 5 April 2011

Interlude #2/2011

I've got nothing much to write about... so here's the second interlude for the year, a subject close to my heart...

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across the campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Three

A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these people? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The priest said, "Hey, here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Hi George, what's the matter with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist friend and see if there is anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"


There's more where that came from (up to Take Eight)... but let's stop at three first. Credit to samshik@cari.com.my, who I'm sure got it from somewhere too..