Interlude

When I was based in the UAE early last year, I had a Filipina colleague by the name of Christyl Aracan. Chris studied pharmacy in school but decided to do administrative work for us at our Fujairah office.

On my recent visit to UAE, I did not meet Chris because she had returned to Cebu, Philippines to deliver her first baby. She is now a proud mother to baby girl Meeka.

I still keep close touch with Chris through emails and Facebook.

For a light-hearted interlude this long weekend, here's an email she sent me some time ago :

Generic name for Viagra

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day : There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

Ramai Lari

The following pic was taken at the pump of a Petronas petrol station on Pasir Gudang Highway. Times must be so tough that people are willing to cheat even when filling up petrol.

The best husband

I've been meaning to post something else today but at the special request of regular reader Hanitha, here's another interlude (credit to kyra_ayu @ cari.com.my).

Suami Terbaik

Sekumpulan lelaki berada di bilik persalinan di salah sebuah kelab eklusif lagi mewah di pusat bandar, setelah keluar dari gym. Tiba-tiba kedengaran deringan handphone di penjuru bilik tersebut. Seorang lelaki menjawap panggilan itu dan terjadilah perbualan seperti berikut :

"Hello?"
"Abang, nie sayang nie."
"Emmm... "
"Abang masih ada di kelab lagi ke?"
"Iya."
“Sayang sekarang nie berada di shopping complex dua block dari kelab abang tu. Sayang ada nampak kain sutera terbaru. Cantik bang. Boleh ke sayang beli?"
"Berapa harganya?"
"Cuma RM1,500.00 aje.."
"Okay, belilah kalau memang awak dah suka sangat."
"Ahhh thanks bang. Dan tadi sebelum datang sini sayang ada singgah di Cycle & Carriage dan tengok Mercedes model terbaru 2008. Sayang suka kat satu model tu. Dan sayang dah bincang dengan jurujualnya dan dia setuju nak bagi good price . . lagipun elok juga kita tukarkan dengan BMW yang kita beli tahun lepas tu. "
"Berapa harga yang dia bagi?"
"Cuma RM280,000 ..."
"Okay, tapi pastikan harga tu dah on the road."
"Great! Before we hang up, ada satu perkara lagi..."
"Apa?"
"Abang jangan terkejut pulak, sayang dah semak akaun bank abang dan.... pagi tadi sayang singgah di pejabat ejen hartanah dan sayang dapat tau rumah yang kita tengok tahun lepas tu... sekarang nie untuk dijual. Abang ingat tak? Rumah yang ada swimming pool bentuk love tu, ada taman orkid kat belakang, berhadapan dengan pantai tu. . cantik kan bang. . "
"Berapa harga yang mereka minta?"
"Cuma RM740,000... Okay kan bang? Sayang tengok dalam akaun kita, boleh cover harga tu. . ."
"Eloklah kalau macam tu, confirm cepat sebelum orang lain beli, tapi cuba dapatkan harga RM700,000. Okay?"
"Okay, abang sayang, terima kasih bang, kita jumpa malam nanti ye!! I love you !!!"
"Bye... I love you too..."

Lelaki itu berhenti bercakap, menutup flap handphone . . sambil mengangkat tangan yang memegang handphone tu dan bertanya pada yang ada dalam bilik tersebut :

"ADA SESIAPA TAHU KE HANDPHONE NIE SIAPA PUNYA? "

Interlude

Congratulations to Barack Obama on being elected as the 44th President of the United States of America. It took more than 200 years for Americans to effect a seemingly impossible change, but change they did. I hope that we Malaysians need not wait that long.

In the meantime, I leave you with this bit of trivia about Americans that would probably apply to us too...

Sporting Preference of the Workforce

In the United States, research was carried out to determine the sporting preferences of the workforce.

The sport of choice of the general workers and unskilled employees is basketball. The sport of choice of the technicians and supervisors is bowling. The professionals and executives prefer baseball.

The sport of choice of the top managers and CEOs is, of course, golf.

The conclusion of the research is :

The higher you are in the management hierarchy, the smaller your balls.

Image borrowed from Titleist website

Update 16 March 2022 : Removed the link in original golf ball pic.

On a lighter note

Terlewat sebulan

Sepasang pengantin baru berkahwin 4 bulan. Pada suatu malam si isteri memeluk leher suami dengan nada manja seraya berkata, "Ayang, period I dah lewat sebulan, tapi I tak boleh nak pastikan lagi sebab kita kena gi check kat doktor."

Si suami yang teramat gembira tu pun berpakat dengan isterinya untuk tidak memberitahu sesiapa pun tentang perkhabaran gumbira ini sehingga ianya benar-benar pasti.

Pada suatu hari, pasangan ini di datangi oleh pegawai dari TNB kerana terdapat tunggakan dalam pembayaran bill elektrik rumah mereka. Pegawai TNB tu pun bertanya "Ini rumah En. Mahpus ker?" "Iya, saya ni isterinya. Ada apa Encik?"

Pegawai TNB tu pun berkata, "Puan, ni dah sebulan lewat, saya dah tak boleh tunggu ni, nanti boss saya marah."

Dengan nada terkejut, si isteri itu pun membalas balik cakap pegawai TNB tu."APA??? Macam mana pulak Encik tahu yang saya ni sebulan lewat???"

Pegawai TNB tu pun dengan selamba menjawab "Alaa puan, ni kan zaman IT, semua tu ada dalam komputer dan kita boleh check Online."

Kata-kata pegawai TNB tu membuatkan si isteri tu lagi terkejut.
"APAAA???? Saya lewat sebulan pun awak semua boleh tahuuu???"

Pegawai TNB tu pun mententeramkan keadaan. "Releks puan, puan ni baru lewat sebulan, ada yg lagi teruk, lewat 5-6 bulan."

Si isteri yang terperanjat beruk dengan kenyataan pegawai tu pun berkata, “Nanti saya bincang dengan suami saya..” Lalu pegawai TNB tu pun beredar dari situ..

Keesokkan harinya, selepas si Mahphus ini diberitahu oleh isterinya, dia pun naik berang dan terus amik cuti dan pergi ke kedai TNB yang berdekatan.

Dengan tanpa menghiraukan pegawai-pegawai TNB yang ramai di situ, dia pun memekik seraya berkata, "Apa korang ni, isteri saya sebulan lewat pun nak heboh-heboh ke dalam internet! Awak ni semua yang berkeluarga tak pernah lewat sebulan kerrrr????!! Bisness apa korang buat niii?? Nak kena saman kerr???”

Lalu pegawai yang datang ke rumah si Mahphus ni berdiri dan cuba mententeramkan keadaan. "Sabar encik, sabar encik. Apa susah, kalau cik nak settlekan perkara ni, bayar je..."

Kata-kata pegawai TNB tu membuatkan si Mahphus tambah naik berang.

"APAAA?? nak bayar korang? belahhhh lahh..."

Lalu pegawai TNB tu pun cakap, "Kalau macam tu, kita terpaksa potong encik punya..."

Si Mahpus mencelah, "Apa??? Potong??? Abih tu isteri saya di rumah nak pakai apaaaaaa???”

Pegawai TNB tu pun cakap, "Nampak gayanye.. ISTERI ENCIK KENA PAKAI LILIN AJERRRLAAAAAAAA"


Note : Got this from my favourite online forum site. Original author unknown.

Colourful words

When I was at my parent's home two weeks back, I came across an old Reader's Digest book belonging to my father. It's called How To Increase Your Word Power. Since the book was just gathering dust, I decided to take it home with me.

The book is a wonderful guide on how to improve our English by teaching us proper pronunciation and spelling, giving us aids to grammar and punctuation, and showing us how to master and build up a better vocabulary. It also contains some useful word games and quick quizzes.

Here's the second interlude for this month, a simple quiz taken from the book. The book actually uses American spelling but I've converted it to our more familiar British style :

Colours

How good is your colour vocabulary? Can you match the colour in the first paragraph with its description in the second? Answers to follow.

1. cerulean
2. indigo
3. ochre
4. azure
5. cerise
6. ecru
7. chartreuse
8. fuchsia
9. sorrel
10. mauve

(a) pale yellowish green
(b) light yellowish brown
(c) vivid blue
(d) purplish rose
(e) dark yellow
(f) deep violet blue
(g) cherry red
(h) reddish or yellowish brown
(i) bright bluish red
(j) clear sky blue

--------------

ANSWERS (posted on 22.09.08) :

1. cerulean - (c) vivid blue
2. indigo - (f) deep violet blue
3. ochre - (e) dark yellow
4. azure - (j) clear sky blue
5. cerise - (g) cherry red
6. ecru - (b) light yellowish brown
7. chartreuse - (a) pale yellowish green
8. fuchsia - (i) bright bluish red
9. sorrel - (h) reddish or yellowish brown
10. mauve - (d) purplish rose

A wish come true

Here's the first interlude for this month of September. Be careful what you wish for, guys...

A married couple in their mid-60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an example of married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish".

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and...poof ! two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hand.

Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said, "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish....

So the fairy waved her magic wand and... poof!

The husband became 95 years old.

The moral of the story : -
Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are female !!