Lost for a while...

Sometimes we need to be lost for a while for us to be found... 

The above quote was posted as a status update on my Facebook wall in April of last year. I was facing a rough patch in terms of my job direction and was thinking of laying low for a bit, just so I can re-check my bearings and plan for something new.

The remark triggered a series of responses from friends that centred more on the issue of loyalty of friendship, on being taken for granted, on being ignored and on the desire for reciprocal attention. Somewhat different from what I expected but interesting nonetheless.

The exchange of comments reached a sombre tone when my late friend whom I wrote about earlier, Roswati Abdul Wahab, joined the discussion by saying that she always look out for friends but sometimes friends tend to forget about her.

This prompted someone to reply : Ros, not forgotten. Dalam ingatan.

The response from Roswati : Dalam ingatan tu untuk orang dah tak ada.. agak2 bila I dah tak ada orang ingat tak kat I.. ehmmm agaknya terus lupa.. dah lah lost..

I guess at that time, my good friend was in low spirits, which is perfectly understandable if you know what she was going through. I put on my thinking hat to say something that would hopefully take away some of her gloom.

My response : Cikgu Ros, sometimes we cannot help if others forget about us... human nature being what it is. Actually, when we are gone it wouldn't matter if our friends remember us or not... because we wouldn't know about it anyway. The important thing is that while we are alive, we have done good for our friends.. that would be the measure.. 

And so my friend, I am saying this again... you have done remarkably good deeds for your friends while you were with us. You'll remain in our hearts. You rest well, Ros. God willing, we hope to join you in that promised place none too soon. Al-fatihah...

Makmum yang tidak mahu mengikut imam

Kira-kira dua minggu lepas, sahabat blogger saya, ayahanda Wan Sharif telah menulis di FB beliau tentang kisah seorang pegawai masjid yang kurang `user-friendly'. Beliau dan isteri telah singgah di masjid tersebut untuk melakukan solat isyak tetapi tidaklah mengikut jemaah lain kerana lewat sampai dari perjalanan.

Seorang pegawai masjid telah menutup kesemua lampu sedangkan isteri Wan Sharif masih mengambil wudhu. Apabila diberitahu bahawa masih ada orang dalam masjid, pegawai itu dikatakan telah menjawab, `Biarlah. Siapa suruh dia datang sembahyang lewat sangat.'

Kisah Sdra Wan Sharif ini telah mengingatkan kembali pengalaman saya sendiri tentang pegawai masjid yang tidak mesra pengguna ini.

Sekitar akhir tahun 1980an, saya bertugas sebagai seorang jurutera yang mengawasi beberapa projek pembinaan di negeri Johor. Satu petang, saya telah melawat tapak projek pembinaan rumah kedai di Kg. Melayu Majidee, Johor Bahru. Waktu telah hampir masuk solat asar, jadi saya pun menuju ke sebuah surau yang terletak tidak jauh dari tapakbina.

Saya sampai di surau tersebut ketika azan baru selesai dilaungkan. Saya terus mengambil wudhu dan mendirikan solat sunat. Dalam masa melakukan solat sunat, konsentrasi saya terganggu kerana bunyi suara kuat dari seseorang yang sedang membebel tentang sesuatu. Selesai solat sunat, saya menoleh keliling. Tidak ramai jemaah ketika itu, sekitar tujuh atau lapan orang sahaja. Suara yang kuat itu rupanya datang dari Pak Imam yang sedang berleter tentang sikap orang-orang muda yang tidak menghormati adab bersolat. Mukanya yang masam memandang sipi ke arah saya, seolah-olah menyindir. Saya hairan seketika... aku ada buat salah ke?

Bila iqamah dipanggil, saya pun bergerak untuk berdiri di saf belakang imam. Pak Imam itu mencampakkan tasbih di atas sejadah hadapan setiap makmum. Kemudian dia menunjuk ke arah saya dan dengan nada kasar berkata, `Awak pakai songkok!'

Aikk? Sejak bila pakai songkok menjadi rukun sembahyang? Saya tidak berkata apa-apa, cuma setakat mengangkat kedua tangan sebagai tanda, `Tak apalah...'

Pak Imam menjadi lebih marah dan warning pada saya, `Kalau gitu, awak jangan ikut kawan!'

Saya geleng kepala, pusingkan badan dan terus beredar dari saf. Saya masuk kereta, start enjin dan terus pecut ke arah sebuah lagi masjid yang berhampiran. Sempatlah saya bersolat asar dengan imam dan jemaah yang lain.

Peristiwa ini berlaku lebih 20 tahun yang lalu... tapi masih jelas dalam ingatan saya. Mengapakah sesetengah pegawai masjid mempunyai sifat yang sebegitu angkuh? Bukankah Islam itu menganjurkan supaya umatnya berlemah lembut dan tegur-menegur dengan cara yang berhemah?

Harap-harap tiadalah pemimpin-pemimpin agama kita yang macam ini lagi.

The passing of a kind-hearted soul

I had always thought that when the eventual event happens, I would be ready. I had rehearsed it over and over again in my mind, on how I would react to the situation. But I guess in the end, the shock and utter sadness of it will always overcome whatever preparedness we think we have.

My good friend and former classmate from secondary school, Roswati Abdul Wahab, went to Makkah to perform the hajj last month... but she is not coming back. She passed away three days ago.

Roswati and I studied at MRSM Kuantan. Apart from being classmates, both of us were active in the publication bureau of the school's student body. After completing our MCE exams in 1979, we lost touch with each other. She continued her studies at a local university while I went overseas.

In July of 2010 we re-discovered each other, thanks to Facebook of course. We exchanged news and met up again in reunions and gatherings. During the past two years, I learned more about what happened in her life during the `lost' 31 years. She got married while still at university, bore 3 children (a girl and twin boys), started work as a computer programmer in the private sector but ended up being a mathematics teacher in government schools. Some years ago, she was diagnosed with liver cancer. And as if that is not enough of a misfortune, her husband left her for another woman. Sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga...

Despite those challenges plus many more, she soldiered on with her life, always putting on a brave front to mask her suffering inside. She ventured out on a quest to search and re-discover old friends (especially the girls) from our MRSM days. I have a database of all the students in our batch which I used to help her recall names of long-lost friends. There were 121 students in the MCE/SPM 1979 batch, consisting of 87 guys and 34 girls. With the aid of Facebook plus a lot of actual legwork, she managed to track down all of the girls but one. But she did not just stop at being re-connected in cyberspace. She made the effort of actually visiting these friends to meet them in person, even though they are spread all over Malaysia. Her travels took her to Kedah, Trengganu, Pahang and Johor. At each meeting of a newly re-discovered friend, she would present a gift of her own handmade brooch (for the girls) and framed photo reprints (for the guys). Photographs taken at these reunions were then uploaded in a series of albums in her Facebook which were titled `Jejak Kawan'. In May of last year, she compiled the photos of all the girls into a collage and had it printed as a poster. Every girl that she re-discovered, got a copy.

All this she did while not being in the best of health... she seldom talk of her sickness with any of the friends. Most of us knew but not many dare broach the subject. I am one of the very few with whom she shares the state of her health.

She was slated for a chemotherapy treatment early next year and so decided that she has to perform the hajj this year. Otherwise, the chemo treatments would prevent her from travelling. At first she approached Tabung Haji to try secure a place but was not successful. She then went to a private travel agency to register under a scheme called Pakej Haji Tanpa Giliran. This package costs almost double of the basic Tabung Haji scheme and even so, is not a sure thing because it depends on the visa approval from the Saudi government. She was then told to wait for confirmation. She waited... and waited... and waited. By the grace of Allah swt, the travel agency managed to secure the visa for travel on the very last day of entry to Makkah for this year's hajj season.

She texted me a few times while she was there, giving brief updates of what she was doing. In her last sms to me on 28 October, she mentioned of having a sore throat and losing stamina. Her text message ended with the words, `Please pray for me...'

I prayed to the Almighty to give her the strength to complete her hajj rituals and to return home safely. But the Almighty loves her more and has chosen for her the final resting place in the holy land of Makkah.

I will miss you dearly, my friend. You had such a kind heart and were an inspiration to most of us. May the Almighty bless your soul and place you in paradise amongst the righteous.

This scanned pic from 1979 showing Roswati (in tudung) sitting next to me

This pic from July this year, my two classmates, Roswati (right) and Suzyanna (left)

The K79 poster girls

An ailment without a cure

Psoriasis is a chronic disease that affects the skin. While there are various methods of treatment, a definitive cure for the disease itself has yet to be discovered. Doctors and scientists still do not know what is the cause, although some research point to genetic links.

My wife suffers from this ailment. It occurred soon after we got married. We first went to a private skin specialist who suggested ultraviolet therapy, in addition to topical treatment. We tried it initially but the cost was getting way too expensive for us to afford. We went to other skin doctors and on the advice of well-meaning relatives, we even tried traditional medicine.

A few years ago, a GP suggested to my wife to seek treatment at Hospital Sultanah Aminah because they have a good dermatology unit headed by a very experienced specialist. The GP duly wrote a letter of recommendation and thus began my other half's regular visits to Johor Bahru's oldest government hospital. Since then, she has never sought treatment for her skin condition anywhere else. The level of dedication and service of HSA's skin clinic is excellent.

Last Sunday, the newly formed Psoriasis Association of Johor held an event day at a local hotel. The activities included a chance for the members and their family to show off their skills in colouring using paints and crayons. There was also a talk given by the Senior Consultant Dermatologist at HSA, Dr. Choon Siew Eng. My wife's treatment regime is now under the direct supervision of Dr. Choon.

The association hopes to gather all psoriasis patients in Johor with the objective of providing support and the sharing of knowledge. Hopefully this can help psoriasis sufferers and their family to cope with the challenges that such a disease brings.

The missus and her cousin Kak Atik, writing down their hopes for a cure

A collage of the painted posters

Smaller posters coloured with crayons

In my opinion, this crayon poster was the best

Dr Choon giving her presentation

Group photo of the team that won the colouring contest

A grand old man... again

Last weekend, we made the trip to Kota Tinggi to visit the latest addition to our very large extended family. Our nephew's wife, Melati Razak, has safely given birth to her third child a few weeks ago. She now has a son to add to her two daughters. Our nephew is so happy to have a boy with whom he can probably later talk about football or table tennis or other sports.

Our grand-nephew was born on the daybreak of Friday 21 September 2012 and has been named Muhammad Hidayat Asraf. The sister to this baby named Nurul Aqilah, is the one I wrote about in a previous post in February 2009, titled A Grand Old Man. At that time, the sister is the 10th great-grandchild of the Hj. Mohd Amin clan. Three and a half years down the road, the new baby boy holds the 22nd position. My wife and I now have 22 kids calling us `Tok'.

Muhammad Hidayat was delivered a few days delayed from his due date. I told the mother that the baby purposely did not want to come out earlier because he wanted to wait for a special day. He shares the same birthday as his grand-aunt, Mrs Oldstock.

Oldstock with latest grand-nephew and 3-year old grand-niece