Heartbreaker

Why do you have to be a heartbreaker
Is it a lesson that I never knew...

The two lines above are part of the lyrics of a 1982 hit song by Dionne Warwick. It was one of my favourite songs during those struggling days studying for a degree. I remember it particularly well, not because I've been through any heartbreaking experience or the like, but rather for the fast catchy tune and the lovely voice of the singer.

A number of years later, I heard the word `heartbreaker' mentioned by a friend in a casual conversation and yesterday, I was reminded of that occasion again.

I married my wife in November 1988. She hails from the town of Mersing on the east coast of Johor. A few of my bachelor friends accompanied me for the wedding ceremony and we stayed at the house of the bride's elder sister (my sister-in-law to be, at that time). We were introduced to the sister's family that included three children, two girls and a boy, who would officially be my nieces and nephew by the next day.

At the time, the youngest daughter was around kindergarten age and was understandably shy to greet us. She was very sweet and pretty, and all my friends were smitten by her looks. One of them softly spoke to me to say, `You have a lovely niece... when she grows up, she's going to be a heartbreaker.'

Over the years, I've watched the girl grow into a very beautiful young lady and see that the prediction of my friend come true... a few times over. This is the same person who is the subject of my earlier post -> The last person to know.

The young lady's parents was at our house yesterday and my sister-in-law took the chance to tell me and my wife on the latest situation about her daughter. She also revealed the events that followed after the day the daughter brought home her Chinese boyfriend. Towards the end of her narration, my sister-in-law broke down in tears... if I do come across my niece in KL, she says, please do look out for her and give her advice.

Well, young lady... I doubt there is much more that I can add to what I'm sure has already been said by your mom. You have already been granted what you wish for, and no doubt you know the huge challenges that you face ahead.

Perhaps if there is one advice that I can give, it is this : work hard to do things that will heal your mother's broken heart. It is not enough to say or promise that you'll do your best. You have to show the effort and commitment. Sure, it will take time, a long time... but it is not something that is impossible. And we are here to support you if you need it.

Just remember, a mother's affection for her child and her capacity for forgiveness is boundless. Her blessings and prayers for us are something that we don't want to do without.

A new taste to savour

Sometimes we think we know everything... or at least we think we know enough just so as not to look stupid. Suddenly we read about something and find out that there still things that we do not know. At times like these, the most apt cliche that comes to mind is : we learn something new everyday.

I was reading the latest book by Malcolm Gladwell last night. It is a bestseller titled `What The Dog Saw, and other adventures'. It is a collection of articles and stories that Gladwell wrote for The New Yorker, an American magazine where he is a staff writer since 1996. It is a work of non-fiction and so far I have just finished reading the 5th story out of 19. Very interesting stories on a diverse range of subjects and I would have continued reading had I not considered the fact that I needed some sleep. The five stories I have read touched on salesmanship, the tomato ketchup, the financial options market, hair dye and the birth-control pill. How do you create interesting pieces out of seemingly mundane topics? This is the particular skill that Gladwell possesses that has made him an award-winning author. He has written three books prior to this and all are bestsellers. I have the first two : The Tipping Point and Blink.

So what was the new thing that I learned last night? Many things actually... but the one that I pick is this : umami.

Apparently, there are five known fundamental tastes in the human palate : sweet, sour, salty, bitter and umami. I know the first four, of course, as I'm sure all of you do... but umami? Gladwell explains that umami is the proteiny, full-bodied taste of chicken soup, or cured meat, or fish stock, or aged cheese, or mother's milk, or soy sauce, or mushrooms, or seaweed, or cooked tomato. The word is not in my Longman's Dictionary that I keep on the shelf by my desk so I had to look it up online. The online dictionary further explains that the word is of Japanese origin and describes the meaty taste that is produced by amino acids and nucleotides. Perhaps the best example given is that of monosodium glutamate or more famously known as MSG.

Wow... I certainly know that taste. It is something that I have tried avoiding (or at least minimising) for many years. Only that I'm not sure if I can use the word in everyday speech as yet.

Next time someone asks me how does the chicken soup taste, dare I reply... umami?

Friends are forever...

Since early this year, I have been fortunate enough to re-discover by way of Facebook, many old friends whom I knew during my boarding school days in Kuantan. Although I only spent two years there, the bond of kinship that was forged with my schoolmates are very strong... strong enough to span a duration of 31 years and for some, a distance across continents.

The re-connection in FB led to reunions or mini-gatherings so that we could meet again in real-life. For the past three months including this one, I manage to attend three such events, starting with a dinner in KL in March where 8 guys from the '79 batch turned up. This was followed with an afternoon tea session in JB in April where 9 persons (including 2 ladies) were present. The third mini-gathering was done early this month, and it had the largest turnout so far. The event was held at Beriyani Selatan House, a restaurant at Section 19 Shah Alam owned by fellow K79 friend Syed Idrus. Twenty-three of my MRSM Kuantan batchmates were there and it was certainly a fun and memorable evening.

The three occasions prompted me to write a note or article in FB as a way to record snippets of information about all the friends whom I have re-discovered. I do not wish to repeat the note in this post but re-reading it again just now reminded me of another Kuantan schoolmate whom I've written about in this blog, not once but twice. I re-connected with this friend in FB in early February, or rather she re-discovered me. Her name is Norhayati Shaharuddin.

The two earlier posts in which I mentioned about Yati were published in October 2008 and August 2009. The stories can be read here -> A rose by any other name and We've got talent.

In each of those stories, there were unanswered questions which I had hope to ask my friend should I ever get the chance to meet her again. By the grace of the Almighty, on 11th February an add-friend request came in my FB inbox, from who else but the girl from Gopeng herself. I have since invited Yati to read the two blog posts, primarily to know if she has any objections to my writing about her, and secondly to seek the answers to my queries. She has gracefully replied and I now reproduce both the questions and the relevant answers for the benefit of readers.

In the first post about nicknames, I mentioned that Yati was also known as Hai Hong (the name of the Vietnamese refugee ship that landed on our east coast shore in 1978), but I didn't know how she got it. She told me that the name was teasingly given by one of our Maths teachers, in reference to her fair skin and oriental looks. Apparently the teacher had mentioned that Yati's relatives had just landed on the beach.

In the second post, I wrote about our stage performance in a musical drama where Yati and I played the lead roles. I sang an old Malay 60's song which was then reciprocated by her... but I could not remember the song she sang. She told me that she sang `Mustika Hatiku'.

Thank you Yati for the explanations. The two stories are now complete.

And now, if only I can get to meet you and a few of the other girls for tea... that would surely be wonderful. Tapi kita fahamlah, wanita yang dah berkeluarga ni memang rumit sikit nak dapat kebenaran berjumpa dengan kawan lama.

Anyway, it's lovely to be in touch again... and thanks too, for the memories.

Group photo of the K79 mini-gathering early this month. We are already planning for another one next month.

Jalan-jalan & makan-makan

Ever since coming over to work at our KL Head Office, I have encouraged my staff, especially the junior engineers, to visit the project sites while the works are still under construction. This will broaden their knowledge and provide them with some understanding on the methods of construction. Sometimes, young engineers prepare designs based on ideal theoretical principles without consideration to practicality.

Last Friday, I took a group of them to visit two of our project sites, in Perak and in Penang. The first project in Terong, Perak is a secondary school in its early stages of construction. Afterwards, we headed out to Butterworth where we spent the night. The next day, we visited the second project at North Butterworth Container Terminal, where the construction of the extension berth and container storage facilities is nearing completion.

Apart from the technical visits, there are of course the makan-makan sessions which everyone looks forward to. We had dinner at Puncak Mutiara Cafe... the place I previously wrote about here -> Beriani Peha Kambing.

Lunch was at the famous Din Ikan Bakar of Kepala Batas. Actually to me, the taste of the grilled seafood at Din's is biasa-biasa saja... but what makes the place really special is the variety of fish that you can find. This includes ikan merah, ikan pari, sotong, udang and ketam. In addition to seafood, they also have a variety of daging and ayam bakar. All of them really mouth-watering... and I've not even mentioned the soups.

It was a really tiring two days but thoroughly enjoyable... and I hope my staff have learned something new too. Now what I need to do is to work out that excess food in my system...

 

  At SMK Toh Johan, Terong, project site

Post-panamax quay cranes at NBCT project site

Thumbs-up for the grilled kambing

Ikan merah bakar, ikan pari bakar dan ulam-ulaman... masa ni udang bakar belum sampai

How can you think about cholesterol when you see grilled prawns like these...

Just look at the size of that shrimp.

At the end of the day...

I recently came across an interesting book titled `It's Not Rocket Science... an other irritating modern cliches'. Written by two British authors, Clive Whichelow and Hugh Murray, the book is a collection of modern cliches which most of us have heard (or used) with much regularity. Cliches are very useful to spice up a conversation... but when overused, as they tend to be, they do make some listeners cringe.

In these days of online connectivity, everything is available at the `click of a mouse'. Some people boast of being so hardworking that they are at it `24/7'. And if you're not `up to speed' you'd be `left out in the cold'.

So how do we define a cliche? According to the authors, it not quite easy to do because one person's idiom is another person's hackneyed phrase and yet another person's cliche. One good test is if a phrase induces an inward groan... and possibly a roll of the eyes too.

Whichelow and Murray are TV and radio writers. They have grouped their collection of overused phrases into various chapters covering general, media, entertainment and political categories, although it must be said that some cliches are so aggressive that they can be heard in almost all situations. The classic one being, `at the end of the day'. Now you tell me if you have not heard this one mentioned by someone very recently... or perhaps it was you who used it!

The authors have listed many other lovely and familiar phrases but I'll just list down a few of my personal favourites for starters :-

Environmentally friendly : This is such a vague phrase to be virtually meaningless, but it puts a warm glow of self-satisfaction into most of us who like to feel we're doing our bit without actually changing any of our environmentally unfriendly ways.

Hearts and minds : Something politicians are always aspiring to win - haven't they got any of their own?

Your call may be recorded for training purposes : Yes, you often feel as though your experience at the hands of operators would be perfect illustration of how not to do it.

Quietly confident : Or `smug', as it used to be known.

The facts speak for themselves : Clever old facts, we say.

I can see where you're coming from : Why is this phrase so irritating? Is it because it is verbose or patronizing, or because you know that the speaker is just about to contradict you?

Having read the whole book, it seems to me that the authors may have missed out on a few other cliches... at least those that I would consider as such in my book. Among these are, `to be honest with you'. I've often heard this phrase used by someone who thinks he/she is bringing you into the inner circle by confiding something that is not being told to others.

`To be honest with you, we have spent more time preparing this proposal than our management allocated for.' Yeah, right... so you're honest with me only for this one. At other times you're not, is that it?

Another overused cliche is `the big picture'. I admit I'm guilty of saying this one too often in my discussions with my engineers when we come to minor disagreements. I use it when I need to overrule them on certain decisions without letting them know of the underlying reasons. Crafty, eh?

For better or for worse, cliches are almost impossible to avoid... so what's your favourite?