The power of prayer

Over the past few weeks, many of us have said farewell to friends who are headed towards the Holy Land to perform the Hajj or pilgrimage. It is custom for the pilgrims to seek forgiveness from relatives and friends before they depart. In return, we wish them a safe passage, ease in performing the required rituals and hopefully blessed with a haji mabrur, and finally a safe journey home.

Some of us would take the opportunity to request a small favour of our friend, and that is to pray (doa) on our behalf when he/she is in front of the Ka'abah. It is said that the Masjidil Haram in Mecca is the preferred place on earth where The Almighty listens to his subjects and grants them their requests. It is also mentioned that, within the mosque itself, there are a few spots where such prayers are especially heard and have a good chance of being answered. No doubt, such places are highly sought after by all pilgrims and one must really be brave to compete with the crowd to secure such a spot, especially during the Hajj season.

One such place or tempat mustajab as we say it in Malay, is the small zone of the Ka'abah wall between the door of the Ka'abah and the corner of the black stone called Hajarul Aswad. I was advised by a learned man that if I can squeeze my way to a spot on this wall, I should then spread my arms and place my chest flat against it as if in attempt to embrace. And then I should fully open my heart and reveal to Allah swt all that I have longed for all this while.

My first visit to Mecca was during hajj season many years ago. I wasn't brave enough to fight the crowd for this coveted spot. However, at my next visit a few years later for umrah, I managed to find a place on the Ka'abah wall after solat subuh and draped myself on the holy house of Allah for a precious few minutes.

It was one of the most moving experience in my life... with my chest flat against the wall, the house of Allah can feel my every heartbeat. It is as close as you can physically be to the symbol of your Maker.

In such moments, what do you pray for? What do you actually ask of God? You are there as his guest and you feel so humble. Would it then be proper of you to be asking of so many things?

Yes, it is... for Allah swt is All-Listener. And hence, there I was, embracing the Ka'abah with my eyes closed and pouring my heart out to the One and Only, seeking forgiveness, asking for compassion and requesting for help. After some minutes of saying my personal prayers, I continued with prayers requested by some friends back home. Among these is a doa by a female colleague who was still childless after being married for a number of years.

The first few years after my return from umrah, there wasn't any sign that the Almighty is answering her prayers. She was still childless... until one day, someone came to her with the news that a baby is available for adoption. She and her husband decided to take the baby.

We may well say that God has not actually answered my friend's prayers yet... but to me, seeing that the child has become the light of her life, it is a wish that was granted.

Perhaps the point of my story here is to say that we should never give up hope. Some of us may be facing problems that are so complicated that they seem insurmountable. Even after putting in all the effort to try this, that and everything else, the solution is still not in sight. In times like these, when there is possibly nothing else we could do, the only thing left for us to fall back on is the power of prayer.

If we can afford to travel to Baitullah in Mecca, then do so. If we can't, then do not despair. If we know of a friend who is going there, then do ask their favour to say a prayer on our behalf. Good friends would be glad to do it for us.

The need to conform (ISO vs ISA)

In one of blogger Justiffa's earlier posts (Audit Fever), she tells the story of experiencing stress and anxiety in facing auditors checking the workplace compliance to ISO procedures.

For those of us who work in ISO-certified organisations (manufacturing, engineering/construction, service industry), the yearly audit exercise is looked on with some dread. While the main objective of all audits is to detect for conformance to the agreed procedures and improving weaknesses, most of the staff hate to be audited because they do not wish to be seen making mistakes. It is simple human nature. Everybody thinks (or wants to think) that he/she is perfect. Nobody wants to be seen to be doing their job poorly and least of all, being made an example to the rest of the colleagues.

My personal view on quality system audits is somewhat mixed. The primary purpose of setting up and maintaining a quality management system to ISO (International Standards Organisation) regulations is simply that... Quality. If our firm produces quality goods or provide quality services, then we will get very satisfied customers which in turn, would result in more business and hence improved profitability. So why then the mixed views? Because complying to the system entails hard work, especially in the area of documentation and record-keeping. While we can be proud of our staff for being hardworking, not many of them are good in the paperwork side of things.

As an example, in my line of work, we issue design changes and revised drawings all the time. No project is perfectly designed at the inception stage. Changes during construction are inevitable. Hence, any particular section of the work may have to be revised a number of times, for whatever reason. Keeping track of such changes is therefore of paramount importance. We have to make sure that the guy who is actually building the thing is in possession of the latest drawing and not one that was superseded three or four times over.

A proper quality management system ensures such revisions are properly recorded, relayed and implemented. The key area of concern here is traceability... who instructed the change, when was it authorised, were the revised drawings issued properly, was receipt of the drawings acknowledged, etc., etc., etc... So, if we do find the toilet being built in a location where it's not supposed to, we check the paper trail, find out where the cock-up occurred and then decide who gets the screwing.

I guess now you would have an idea why many people hate to keep records.

I am taking time to write on this subject because our company's ISO audit is scheduled for some time this month. I was informed that my project is the one proposed for the external auditor to visit because our documentation and filing system is in reasonably good shape (as opposed to other projects whose record-keeping is not quite up to par, it seems). Ironic, isn't it? I would have thought it would be more beneficial to send the auditor to the other projects so that the weaknesses can be detected and improvements made.

Anyway, what has ISO got to do with ISA? Actually, not much... although the ISA (Internal Security Act) has also got something to do with conformity. You better conform to what the government say or else the Minister of Home Affairs can lock you up without trial.

It's just that every ISO audit exercise reminds me of something someone told me many years ago.

`Aku tak suka lah ISO audit ni! Letih kena soal-siasat. Lebih baik ISA!'

Which prompted me to ask, `Kenapa?'

`ISO kan Ikut Suka Orang... ISA tu Ikut Suka Akulah!'

P/s : Graphic above borrowed from www.despair.com. Saja nak buat Zendra tersedak, heheh... and thanks to Nurie for leading me to this site :-)

Nak potong ke tidak?

When we received our Telekom bill for this month, my wife noticed that the Streamyx broadband charge has increased to RM88 from the previous RM77. When she went to TMpoint to pay the bill, she asked them about it. She was told that the previous charges we paid were based on an introductory offer when we signed up for the service two years ago. Apparently, the rate was valid for the initial two-year contract only and we now have to pay the increased charge if we wish to remain in the same package. We have the option to switch to a cheaper package but the connection speed would be slower.

My wife mentioned to the TM staff that they should have at least sent us a note informing of the increase. Simply inserting a new charge in our bill is quite unprofessional. The staff was gracious enough to admit that it is one of TM's weakness and promise to take note of our feedback.

My first reaction to this increase was to look at other options of Internet Service Providers. The one that immediately came to mind was of course, P1 Wimax, whose cheeky TV and billboard advert is drawing a lot of attention (to those asking for the ad to be withdrawn, I have this to say... lighten up! Have a sense of humour!).

I therefore browsed their website to see what they have on offer. Before considering any of the P1 packages, I have first to check whether my residence is within their area of coverage. The result is No (or not yet, anyway). Nonetheless, I had a look at the cost of the various packages available. For the equivalent service that I'm presently getting from TM Net, the Wimax package is slightly more expensive. In addition to that, I would have to cough up a registration fee of RM100 and another RM60 for activation fee.

All in all, looks like Streamyx is still cheaper. So... tak jadilah nak potong.

I wonder if any blogger friends out there are already subscribed to Wimax. Putting the costs considerations aside, is the Wimax connection better? Would love to hear from you on this.

A short working stint in UAE

It was around this time 3 years ago that I was working on a project at the United Arab Emirates. Our company was involved in the construction of marine structures for a beach resort hotel in the emirate (or state) of Fujairah. The new hotel is about 120km from Dubai and is located on the eastern coast of UAE facing the Indian Ocean.

Our scope of works basically consisted of the construction of two rock-filled structures called groynes and the pumping of sea sand to fill up the beach. The groynes are located either ends of the resort boundary and act as wave-breakers so that large waves coming in from the open sea would reduce in size before impacting on the beach. The primary objective of the design is to create an area of relatively calmer water that is conducive to swimming and snorkelling.

The process of pumping of sea sand is technically known as beach nourishment. The original beach was quite narrow and has coral and rocky outcrops at certain areas. By pumping white marine sand dredged from the sea bed, a wider and more aesthetic beach was created.

Beachfront before sandfilling work

Sand pumping in progress

Construction of the north groyne

It was a tough and challenging work. Apart from the hot weather (temperatures hitting 40 degC), we had to contend with very demanding clients. Working in a marine environment also carries with it additional risk. Bad weather and sea-storms caused some delays. One particular storm was so severe that it battered our tugs and barges. The waves were so strong that the mooring ropes on one of our barges snapped, causing the barge to break loose. Luckily, the barge's movable ramp got wedged between some rocks, otherwise the barge would've drifted away.

Our hired tugboat was not so lucky. The waves pushed the tug towards the shore and run aground over some rocks. The rocks punctured the boat's hull, causing it to take in water. The boat partially sank and rested on the rock bed. After the storm had subsided, we quickly arranged for a salvage company to assist in the re-floating operation.

I left the UAE to return back to Malaysia in March 2007. The hotel opened for operations not long after that. The following photographs showing views of the completed beach are taken from the hotel's website here -> Hotel JAL Fujairah Resort & Spa.

View of hotel and beach with north groyne in the background

View of beach facing south

The view of the Indian Ocean from the hotel is quite breathtaking. It has crossed my mind to perhaps spend a night at this resort, if I ever get the chance to visit Fujairah again... but at around RM600 per night for the cheapest room, I guess it will remain just a thought.

The need to know

Sometime last week a friend from Kuala Lumpur rang me up to ask for a favour. I couldn't directly do what he asked but I can try get help from someone else. So I said, let me check with someone and I'll get back to you.

Called my brother on his mobile but there was no answer. Called wife at home to ask if she has my brother's house number (I know she has, because wife and sis-in-law always chit-chat). Yes? Okay, sms me the number.

Called brother's house. Sis-in-law picks up. Surprised to hear my voice. I ask for her husband. Not home yet she says. Usually home by 9pm. Does not answer his mobile because he's probably still offshore. Anything important? Nah, I said... will call back around 9.

Just about to leave the office at 7pm when brother returns call on my mobile. Need your help, I said, to do this and this.

Brother : Urgent?

Me : Preferably tonight or latest by tomorrow lunchtime.

Brother : Hmm... should be possible. Let me check and I'll call you back.

15 minutes later, brother texted me, saying that favour has been done. Thanks, I texted back. Also texted my KL friend, everything settled.

I reach home. Wife asks why I wanted brother's home number.

Me : Couldn't get him on his mobile. So I need to try his home.

Wife : Was it urgent?

Me : Not so.

Wife : So you called him at home?

Me : Yes, but sis-in-law answered.

Wife : Why did you want to call him?

Me : To ask him to do something.

Wife : To do what?

Me : To do this and this...

Wife : Why?

Me : Because a friend from KL asked for my help.

Wife : Why did your friend need you to do that?

Me (already pissed off by now) : I don't know why! I'm just helping a friend!

Wife starts to sulk. Spoils the rest of the evening.

A few days later, met up with my brother at his house. Apparently, when he got home that night, he also faced a barrage of questions from his wife. Why did big brother call you? Was it urgent? To do what? Why did he ask you to do that?

The interrogation also ended with the terse response of, `I don't know why! I'm just helping out my brother!'

Women... always need to know down to the finest detail. Here's a tip for you ladies, if your husband gives short, sharp replies to your questions, then better stop being curious and don't push it. There's no need for you to know everything.

English can be a very hard language

Here's an interlude for this month. Don't click on the image if you feel offended by culturally sexist jokes.

English can be a very hard language

Do you know what's in your belacan?

An interesting news article in yesterday's Berita Harian Online caught my eye. It is a classic example of misplaced priorities. It seems that a 56-year old lady from Terengganu, Puan Rahani Ali, has been found guilty of selling belacan (shrimp paste) that contained less than a specified amount of protein.

According to the Peraturan-peraturan Makanan 1985, belacan shall have a protein content of not less than 25%. The belacan packed and sold by Rahani has only 23.75% protein, and for that she was fined RM600 by the Dungun Majistrate Court.

The full article can be read at this link -> Pembungkus Belacan Di Denda RM600.

After reading the article a few times, I am actually surprised that the case went to court. To me, the District Health Officer should have considered the educational rather than prosecutional approach. I sincerely doubt the lady knew that there had to be a certain amount of protein in her belacan. Heck... I don't think she even knows what protein is! After all, she only re-packs and distribute the stuff. The belacan is made by someone else.

To be penalised for a mere 1.25% shortfall clearly shows overzealousness. Couldn't she have been let off with a warning? Would it not have been better for the District Health Officer to advise her on the correct thing to do? It is not as if consumers of the belacan would face nutritional problems because of 1.25% less protein content!

This episode is quite an eye-opener. It raises a lot of other questions. I don't think many of us know that there is such a ruling for the production of belacan. Apart from protein, what other minimum content requirements are there? What about salt content or other chemicals? Does the ruling apply to other traditional food items such as budu and cencaluk too?

Well, whatever it is, belacan manufacturers all over Malaysia should beware. The next time you the consumer, buy your pack of belacan, make sure the label carries the requisite nutritional information. Otherwise you may be buying something that is illegal.

Pangkat dan gelaran

Entri kali ini takde kena mengena dengan pingat atau darjah kebesaran yang diberi oleh kerajaan ataupun raja-raja Melayu, tak kiralah samada pingat itu dianugerah ataupun dibeli. Pangkat yang saya maksudkan ialah panggilan atau gelaran yang digunakan oleh orang-orang Melayu untuk ahli keluarga dan sanak saudara mereka.

Kalau anda perhatikan dalam posting-posting saya sebelum ini, saya menggelar tiga orang anak lelaki saya sebagai Along, Angah dan Adik. Bagi pembaca-pembaca Melayu, gelaran-gelaran itu boleh difahami dengan jelas dan tidak perlu diterangkan. Namun begitu, terlintas di fikiran saya bahawa mungkin ada pembaca blog yang bukan Melayu yang tertanya-tanya mengapa gelaran tersebut digunakan. Jadi, apabila tergerak hati untuk menulis sedikit tentang topik ini, saya cuba selidik pula tentang gelaran ataupun nama timang-timangan lain yang biasa kita dengar.

Tidak semua keluarga Melayu mengamalkan panggilan timang-timangan ini dan sudah tentunya terdapat variasi maksud sesuatu gelaran itu mengikut negeri, daerah mahupun suku kaum rumpun Melayu. Sebagai contoh, di kalangan adik beradik saya, ayah dan ibu kami tidak memanggil kami dengan nama timang-timangan. Berlainan pula dengan keluarga sebelah isteri yang mana beberapa ahli dipanggil dengan nama gelaran.

Pada dasarnya, nama timang-timangan yang diberi kepada seseorang itu adalah mengikut turutan kelahirannya. Along adalah gelaran yang diberi kepada anak pertama atau anak sulong. Apabila Along menjadi dewasa dan mempunyai anak-anak saudara, maka gelarannya akan menjadi Pak Long (lelaki) ataupun Mak Long (wanita). Di sebelah keluarga saya, anak-anak saudara saya memanggil saya Pak Long. Secara automatik, isteri saya bergelar Mak Long. Sebaliknya isteri saya adalah anak kelapan dari tigabelas beradik, jadi gelaran Pak Long/Mak Long adalah hakmilik orang lain. Sebenarnya, anak-anak saudara sebelah isteri menggunakan gelaran moden untuk saya, iaitu `Uncle'. Hmmm... pelik juga.

Angah adalah gelaran untuk anak kedua. Asal-usul gelaran ini ialah perkataan `tengah'. Tapi, kalau kita fikirkan dengan lebih mendalam, mungkin boleh timbul sedikit kekeliruan. Ya lah... kalau anak cuma tiga orang, yang kedua tu bolehlah dianggap tengah. Tapi kalau anak dah ramai, kedudukan nombor dua kan bukan di tengah lagi. Apa-apapun, begitulah definasi gelaran Angah. Gelaran-gelaran yang berkaitan adalah Abang Ngah/Kak Ngah, Pak Ngah/Mak Ngah mahupun Tok Ngah/Nek Ngah.

Bagi pangkat adik-adik yang berikutnya, terdapat beberapa perbezaan amalan, bergantung kepada negeri ataupun keluarga masing-masing. Di sesetengah tempat, anak ketiga digelar Alang. Tapi saya pernah juga mendengar gelaran-gelaran lain iaitu Achik ataupun Uda.

Bagi anak yang keempat pula, gelaran yang biasa dipakai ialah Utih (atau juga dieja sebagai Uteh). Besar kemungkinan gelaran ini adalah singkatan dari perkataan `putih'. Menurut Kamus Dewan, orang Perak menggunakan nama timang-timangan ini untuk anak yang keenam. Hmm... nak kena confirm dengan kawan-kawan saya dari Perak, samada betul ke tidak ni.

Lawan bagi perkataan `putih' ialah `hitam'. Itam pula adalah panggilan mesra untuk anak yang ketujuh (di Negeri Sembilan, anak yang kelapan). Alahai... kenapalah dipanggil budak itu Itam, kesian dia. Maka apabila dewasa kelak, jadilah dia Pak Itam atau Mak Itam. Untuk glamer sikit, dipendekkan jadi Pak Tam/Mak Tam sahaja.

Terdapat beberapa panggilan lain yang biasa saya dengar tetapi posisinya dalam turutan adik-beradik tidak berapa jelas. Gelaran-gelaran itu ialah Andak dan Anjang. Sekiranya anda tahu hakmilik anak keberapa gelaran ini, harap dapat dikongsikan pengalaman anda.

Yang pastinya, anak yang bongsu akan mendapat gelaran Busu atau lebih manja dipanggil Ucu. Panggilan Ucu ini hanya boleh digunakan oleh anak-anak saudara kepada bapa atau emak saudara mereka yang paling muda. Saya tak boleh nak panggil anak bongsu saya Ucu, sebab manalah tahu ada rezeki dapat tambah anak lagi... ehem, ehem :-)

A young boy's initiative

This post is somewhat an extension of the previous entry. It is a story about my eldest son, not quite about what he said that caught me off-guard but rather, what he did. It happened many years ago when he was still in Year 1 of primary school.

When it was time for Along to start primary school, we enrolled him at Sekolah Kebangsaan Taman Sri Amar, which is located in a neighbouring area across a trunk road from where we stay. There is another school within our neighbourhood that is nearer but we chose to send him to the other school because some of the teachers there are our family friends.

On his first day, I sent him to school in my car. Year 1 students are in the afternoon session and we arrived with plenty of time to spare. The school compound was understandably rowdy with nervous young children and anxious parents facing the start of a new experience. The sound of crying kids and voices of cajoling moms could be heard here and there. My son was as cool as a cucumber… no tears or tantrums from him.

After the students had entered their classrooms, I left the school to return to my office. Later in the evening, I went back to the school to fetch my son. How was his day, I asked. Oh okay… made some new friends, he replied. Not a talkative type, this eldest son of mine.

The next day, I took an early lunch break to go home, fetch my son and send him to school. This time, I just dropped him at the gate because he already knows how to get around. I returned to the office and got busy with work. I was tied down in a meeting and realised a bit too late that I need to fetch my son after school. I rushed out of the office and headed for the school, which is actually not really that far away. Thankfully traffic was not that heavy.

As I reached the last turn of the road about a few hundred metres to the school, I noticed a small schoolboy in the distance, walking on the roadside towards my direction. Poor boy… I thought, to be walking home alone. Why aren’t his parents fetching him or arranged for a school bus?

As I got closer to the boy, I was hit by a bolt of shock. Goodness me, the walking schoolboy is my own son!

I slowed down the car and then stopped when I reached him. I opened the passenger door and my son climbed in. It took me a few moments to recover from the surprise… before I managed to calmly ask him, `Along nak pergi mana jalan kaki ni?’

He simply replied, `Along nak balik rumah la. Habis tu, lama Along tunggu Abah… tak sampai-sampai.’

My next question,`Along tahu ke jalan nak balik rumah?’

`Tahu… ikut jalan yang Abah drive masa hantar tadi,’ he answered confidently.

I was momentarily at a loss for words. The route from my house to the school follows a roundabout way because of a 6-lane trunk road that separates the two areas. The driving distance is almost 3km but a route on foot (if you so wish) is half of that. If I had not crossed paths with my son, he would’ve walked 3 kilometres along unfamiliar roads. The thought of him having to cross the busy trunk road gave me the shudders.

I wasn’t sure what I felt at that time but I guess overall, it must have been a huge sense of relief. I was not angry with my son because it was actually my fault for not giving him instructions on what to do in case I was late. He had taken the initiative to find his way home… the least I can do is to give him credit for that.

As my son settled himself in the car seat as if nothing has happened, I drove towards the school and parked by the roadside in front of the gate. We both got out and I held his hand as we walked back into the school compound towards the canteen. The compound was largely quiet by then… only a few children left waiting for whoever or whatever to take them home.

We reached the canteen and sat side by side on a bench. I then carefully spoke to the him, `Esok atau lusa, kalau Abah lambat datang nak amik Along… jangan pegi mana-mana ye… Along tunggu kat kantin ni, sampai Abah datang, okay?’

`Okay,’ he said.

We walked back to the car and headed home but not before stopping at a coffee shop for a drink. I guess the drink was more for me to reflect on the situation rather than anything else. I ordered Nescafe for myself and ice-cream for my son. I silently watch the young man eat his ice-cream and wonder how a 7-year old boy can be brave enough to make such a decision. I was never that brave when I was his age.

The following day, I made sure I left the office in time to reach school before the kids get out. To test if he understands my instruction, I purposely parked the car some distance away and out of sight. When the classes were let out, I spotted my son among the hundreds of other children. He had a look at the gate where all the other parents were waiting. When he couldn’t see me, he walked back to the canteen and waited there. I stood by a little while longer, just to make sure.

It has been thirteen years now since that incident. Along is now into his third year at a university in Jordan. In that time, he has already made two trips (with friends) to the holy land in Mecca to perform umrah and one trip (alone) to London to visit his uncle (my youngest brother) during winter break.

May the Almighty always watch over you, my son.

Father-son conversations

For the past week or so, a few blogger-friends have posted interesting and amusing stories about the conversations with their young children. The witty responses that come from the mouth of our young ones sometimes catch us off-guard, but they never fail to raise a smile or a chuckle from us.

Recording such beautiful dialogue in blog posts is a wonderful way of preserving the memories. Pretty soon, our children grow up... and we long for the days when we could cuddle them and listen to their innocent banter.

My days of cuddling the boys are already over. As you can gather from my earlier posts, my sons have all grown up into young men. The youngest one is already a teenager. So stories about funny and witty replies are all but just memories. A few of these stand up in mind but maybe I'll post them on another day.

Father and two sons, circa 2000

Father-son conversations are not as common as mother-son conversations. The reasons are quite obvious. In general, sons are closer to their mother than their father. There are things that a son can only tell his mother... especially things that relate to emotions and feelings. It is somewhat not a `manly' thing to do to be talking to your dad about stuff like that. Moms understand these things better. Often, the father is the last person in the house to know. Fathers only get consulted on really formal stuff and in particular, any decision that has a financial impact.

My sons have always been closer to their mother... and it is fine by me. Because I can say the same for myself too. So don't ask me if I know the names of my sons' girlfriends... or if they actually do have girlfriends already. My wife would know.

When the eldest boy got the opportunity to study overseas about 2 years back, I had Streamyx broadband installed at home. The main purpose of which was to allow the mother to be in contact with the son on Yahoo Messenger. And when I fitted the webcam on our home desktop a bit later, she can see the image of her son in real-time, all those 8,000 km away. And then she starts worrying if her son is eating well because he looks so thin...

The technology of today has made the old form of communication near obsolete. I am of course, referring to the art of letter-writing between a son and his parent. I don't think my son has ever written a letter to his mother, not even when he was in boarding school. He would feel hard-pressed to write one now, especially in decent, if not classic, Bahasa Melayu. His YM chats with his mother are in standard everyday informal prose.

I remember as a student, writing letters to my mother in classic writing style... the one that starts : Kehadapan ibunda ku yang dikasihi, semuga ibunda dan ayahanda yang berada jauh di tanahair sentiasa dalam keadaan sihat hendaknya...

My mother was a schoolteacher once, hence my letters to her need to be tip-top. It wasn't too much of a trouble for me because I loved writing. Letters to my mother could be four or five pages long. Comparatively, one to my father would be 2 pages at most :-)

I wonder if my mom still keeps my letters. It would be real interesting to re-read them after all these years. I wonder now, what was it that I actually wrote about. Surely personal and emotional stuff mostly, and probably ridiculously embarassing on hindsight. But one thing I can assure you is that the language is gracefully classic.

The voluntary is more difficult than the compulsory

I am of course, talking about the voluntary fasting for six days in the month of Syawal, or more popularly known in Malay as Puasa Enam.

The act of carrying out six days of fasting within the month of Syawal (also known as bulan raya for Malays) is highly encouraged. Prophet Muhammad's (s.a.w.) hadeeth, as recorded in Sahih Muslim, says : He who observed the fast of Ramadan and then followed it with six (fasts) of Shawwal, it would be as if he fasted perpetually.

On the face of it, it really shouldn't be that difficult to fast for six days, since we just completed doing the same thing for 30 straight days just the month before. Furthermore, we are allowed to choose any six days within the month (except for the first day of Aidilfitri), and these six days need not be consecutive. We can spread them out if we so wish.

So why is it then, many Muslims (yours truly included) find it difficult to carry out this task?

I would humbly venture to give the following reasons :

1. Nobody else is doing it. That's why it is difficult to do alone.

Well perhaps, rather than saying `nobody', it is more correct to say `not many'. Muslims who fast in Syawal don't normally declare to others that they are doing so. Since everyone else around you is eating and drinking as they please, it becomes a real challenge for you to fast in such a situation. Fasting the first day out of six is always the most difficult. You go to work and see someone on the roadside lighting up a cigarette.... and you wonder why isn't that guy fasting? It takes a while for it to hit you back... that you're the one who is fasting and not the rest of the world. It becomes doubly difficult when you reach your workplace because you would always have friends and colleagues inviting you out for lunch or teh-tarik.

2. Many friends invite you for a raya makan-makan

The Malaysian culture of holding `open houses' to celebrate the festivities make it difficult for you to find a suitable day to fast. Sometimes when you have already decided to start fasting for the day, a last minute invitation to a makan-makan would tempt you to break your fast. It is somehow not proper for you to accept a friend's invitation but yet, not partake in the spread of delicacies. Nowadays, many companies hold their `open houses' during working hours, hence it can also be tough to fast during the weekdays too.

3. The willpower and motivation becomes weak

Perhaps, this is the main reason why most of us can't do the Puasa Enam. Fasting in Ramadan trains us to be patient and reserved. We are reminded to be watchful of what we hear, say and look at. The moment Syawal arrives, many of us can't wait to free ourselves of such inhibitions and behave in our normal self. Puasa Enam is not obligatory anyway, so why bother? I have to constantly remind myself that the incentive to do voluntary deeds is only evident to those who seek.


Over the years, I have tried a few strategies in maintaining the willpower to carry out Puasa Enam. Initially I thought that doing two days in every week (say each Monday and Thursday) would be a good method. Unfortunately, the uncertain schedule of my work (outstation travel, site meetings etc.) meant that I missed some days. Now, I am trying a different way... I am fasting for six straight days from Monday to Saturday. I'm sticking to my plan, no matter what. Sorry friends, if I can't join you for breakfast or for afternoon tea.

Random pics of nature

Photos taken at Lembah Warisan Bernam located on the upper reaches of Sungai Bernam near Tanjung Malim. The river is the border between the states of Selangor and Perak.

Entrance to common dining area

View of hostel on the upper slopes

Enjoy a dip in the cool waters of the river

Stones and boulders create gentle rapids

Small boulders and pebbles line the river banks

Jantung pisang

Yellow lizard

Caption corrected to : Rajah Brooke butterfly (Tq Pak Zawi)

Individual chalets located on the hillslope with a view of the river

A full week of Aidilfitri traveling

This post is just an expansion of the one I put up previously. I cannot recall having traveled this much in the first week of Hari Raya Aidilfitri. My eldest son was home for his 3-week term break which coincided nicely with the hari raya holidays. Since his flight back was on Friday last week, our trip to KL and beyond was actually more of a necessity than by design. No doubt, the opportunity was taken to visit relatives along the way.

By rotation, this year's first day of Aidilfitri should have been spent at my wife's kampung in Mersing because last year we were in Singapore. We were however in Singapore again this year because the 1st of Syawal fell on a Sunday, meaning the next day would still be a public holiday. This meant that we could take advantage of another day of free parking (parking on non-free days in Singapore can burn a hole in your pocket) plus a full day to visit relatives.

Oldstock's family in Bukit Batok, Singapore

The third and fourth days were spent at my wife's kampung in Mersing, where I get to see my ailing father-in-law for a short while. My wife's side of the family is large. She has twelve brothers and sisters, and understandably, not all can make it back to the kampung. We got to meet eight of them this time, not a bad count.

On the way back from Mersing to Johor Bahru, we stopped at a sister-in-law's house in Kota Tinggi. On Thursday afternoon, we drove out of JB to head out to Kuala Lumpur but we made two stops along the way. The first was to meet a brother-in-law at Tangkak in Muar. The next stop was at Semenyih in Selangor where I visited my uncle (my mom's youngest brother).

The next morning, we sent Along to the airport at KLIA for his flight back to Jordan. At KLIA, I met an old friend who was my senior while studying at Sheffield in the UK. He was also sending his son off back to Jordan. It turns out that my friend's son is studying at the same university as Along and is one year his senior. How's that for coincidence.

At KLIA sending the eldest son back to school

After seeing Along off, we then sent Angah back to his hostel at UiTM Shah Alam. Although he was due to check back in by Sunday, Angah wanted to return early so that he can have some quiet time to catch up on his studies. He has exams to face the following week.

From Shah Alam, we drove on the Guthrie Expressway to head north to Tanjung Malim where another brother-in-law is holding an open house reception. Before actually heading to the reception, we stopped by his kebun on the upstream stretch of Sungai Bernam. My youngest son couldn't resist having a quick dip in clear running water of the river. As Adik is having fun splashing in the river, I strolled around the area to experiment taking macro photoshots of nature. Oh how I wish to have a dSLR in my hands right now.

A dip in the cool waters of Sungai Bernam

A trip to Tanjung Malim is not considered complete if we do not make a stop to eat something at the Garden Seafood Restaurant, notwithstanding the fact that we are going for an open-house reception later. Our dish of choice is the Sweet and Spicy Prawns that is eaten together with the home-made dumpling bread.

Restoran Garden Seafood (Halal) at Tanjung Malim

Sweet and spicy prawns with dumpling

After the light dinner at Garden Restaurant, we made our way to my brother-in-law's kampung house on his wife's side of the family. There we met the latest addition to our family, our 4-month old grandnephew named Kamarull Suhail. The pic below is Suhail in the arms of his mother.

The following day, we made visits to another three houses in the Klang Valley before heading back to Johor Bahru. A full and packed programme of visiting relatives and friends over seven days. Exhausting but fulfilling too. Unlikely to be repeated in the coming years.

Then and now...

It has been quite a hectic week of Aidilfitri celebrations for us this year. The past seven days were filled with near non-stop traveling... and also eating. The cycle of movement can be summarised in a single line as follows : JB -> Singapore -> JB -> Mersing -> Kota Tinggi -> JB -> Tangkak -> Semenyih -> KL -> KLIA -> Shah Alam -> Tanjung Malim -> KL -> JB.

We just returned home late last night, so today shall be strictly spent for rest and recuperation. I'll post the story and photos of our Hari Raya a bit later (if it is not too stale by then). Today's entry is just a brief look at how my three aces have grown. The two pics shown below are of my three sons taken at Aidilfitri at the same location (in front of my parents' home) but after a span of 12 years.

Photo 1 : Three Aces, Aidilfitri 1997

The first pic is a blurry scan of a photograph taken in 1997. Along (left) was 8 years-old, Angah (right) was 6, and Adik (middle) was 2.

Photo 2 : Three Aces, Aidilfitri 2009

The second pic was taken last week. The boys are standing in the same order as they did before. Angah is now taller than his elder brother.

Along has flown back to Jordan on Friday and we sent Angah back to his UiTM hostel the same afternoon. How time flies...

Salam Aidilfitri 1430 Hijrah

Ayam kampung dalam raga,
Jadi korban hidangan raya,
Buat semua sahabat blogger,
Mohon ampun maaf dari saya.

Salam Aidilfitri dari Oldstock dan famili

To all friends and readers who have dropped by with the warm wishes, I wish the same to all of you too. Enjoy the holidays, watch what you eat and have fun.

It may be a while before I get back online, so I thought this would be an appropriate time to present the third part of my (still-in-progress) short story.

To read the opening part, click here -> Part1
To read the second part, click here -> Part 2

----------------------------------------------------------

A Bingo Straight To The Heart (Part 3)

Although I had often seen Joe together with Aida around campus, that was the first time I was introduced to him. Joe looks like most other overseas Malaysian male students; dressed in faded jeans, army surplus jacket and sporting long hair that reached the shoulders. In fact, his hair is longer than Aida’s. Except for the jeans, Aida’s look is a direct contrast to her friend. She is a petite girl who likes to keep her hair neat and short, almost tomboyish. Her cheerful personality is the opposite to his soft-spoken demeanour but they seem to get along pretty well. We see them together so often that we consider Joe to be Aida’s boyfriend. I like Aida a lot, so a friend of hers is also a friend of mine.

Our weekly Scrabble session is quite well known amongst the female Malaysian students in Sheffield. Usually there would be six or seven of us who want to play. Since a maximum of four can play in any one round, we would draw lots for the first round with the loser of that first round giving way to a new player. The loser will also end up making tea or preparing refreshments for the rest of us, thus the added incentive of trying not to finish last. Anita and I would normally finish tops with Lin or Nooraini most often coming in third. Aida and the other juniors are the regular tea makers. Although she speaks fluent English, Aida seems to have a problem with vocabulary. But that did not stop her from continuing to play and enjoy the game, such was her positive spirit. Our sessions would often last till late at night and sometimes even to the wee hours of morning. About the only time that we do not play is when most of us have something else to do like catching a movie or the like, and about four weeks before term exams.

That day, Noor offers to sit out the first round while Joe declined to play. He says that he’ll be happy just watching.

Lin started the round with a five-letter word (PLATE) for a reasonable opening score of 20 points. Next was Aida and then Anita. I had drawn a lousy rack, five vowels and two consonants, and could only start with meagre score of 9. Lin, the joker in our group, poked fun at me. Feeling slightly embarrassed with a male guest present, I stole a glance at Joe, who is sitting just behind his classmate.

For her next move, Aida was excited as she has spotted a possible `hook’ to the first word `PLATE’. She was in the process of putting down her tiles to make `MARCH’, with the `R’ hooking onto the end of `PLATE’, hence making two words in a single move. Just before she finish arranging her tiles, Joe suddenly quipped, “Hang on! You can make a better word than that.” He then looked around at us and asked, “I hope you guys don’t mind me helping Aida a bit.”

“It’s okay with me,” I said. Having seen her finish last so often, I’m not against Aida getting some help once in a while. Anita and Lin did not seem to mind either.

Joe softly discussed his option with his girlfriend, whose face suddenly lit up and cried, “Yes!”. She then rearranged the tiles she had put down plus the remainder on her rack to come up with the word `CHARMED’. She had just played what we call a Bingo in the game of Scrabble, which is a play of seven letters or more in a single move for a bonus of 50 points. The `D’ is now hooked to the first word that Lin made, to come up with `PLATED’, hence earning her more points. She ended up scoring a whopping 79 points on that single move alone.

It was the first time Aida has played a bingo, and her overwhelming delight was obvious for all to see. She was punching clenched fists in the air with glee and crying out, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”. It took a while for her to calm down. It felt good for me too, to see she has achieved something, even though with a little help. She thanked Joe profusely and with both hands, suddenly pinched Joe on both his cheeks as if he was a baby. “I could marry you for this!” she said. Joe’s reaction to all this was a simple kindly smile. I couldn’t help but smile a little myself.

As it turned out, luck was not with me in that opening round. I continued to draw terrible combinations of letters and, for the first time, finished the game in last position. For the first time too, Aida finished tops. The once unthinkable situation of me making tea for the group became a reality.

... to be continued.

A noisy celebration

If you live in a Malay kampung like I do, you would have definitely felt (or rather, heard) the celebratory atmosphere in welcoming the Hari Raya. I am talking about children (and sometimes adults too) who light up fireworks and firecrackers after the breaking of fast.

Every night you can hear the whizzes, pops, bangs and booms of various types of firecrackers. Some of these things give such loud explosive noises that even set off car alarms. It surprises me sometimes that Malays can be playing more fireworks than Chinese. Mengalahkan orang Tionghua sambut tahun baru.

Call me a spoilsport, but I don't really approve this main mercun activity. I don't mind the sparklers but the noisy ones are a pain in the butt. At least, there is an underlying cultural reason when our Chinese friends light up firecrackers. For us Malays, what reason is there... except just for pure fun? Every year during Ramadan, I would wait for news of the first fireworks casualty. More often than not, it would be a young boy from a kampung on the east coast. Stories of missing fingers and burnt hands, mostly.

The selling of firecrackers is supposed to be illegal but I see a few vendors openly trade their stuff at the Ramadan bazaars. The array is quite mind-boggling and come in fancy names and sizes. They sell Thunder Cap rockets, Dragon Eggs, Super Pop, Mini grenades, Starburst, Flying spinners and whatever else have you.

I have never bought any for my children but that did not stop my youngest son from buying them on his own. Last year, he set aside some of his pocket money to secretly buy some firecrackers from his friends. He brought the firecrackers along when we balik kampung at my in-laws home in Mersing. Since there would be other cousins who would be playing the firecrackers, it would be difficult for me to object.

One afternoon, on the third day of hari raya I think, he came into the house to ask my sister-in-law for some minyak gamat (ointment) to apply on a cut on his palm. He told his mother that he got the cut from a fall while playing at the rear compund of the house. I wasn't shown the injury directly but looking at it from distance, I suspected my son was not telling the truth. But I did not press the matter because there were many other relatives around.

The next day, his wound did not get any better and overall he looked a bit feverish. My wife started to worry and wanted me to bring my son to the hospital. I asked my son what really happened. At first he stuck to his story of getting the cut from a fall but then, one of the younger cousins spilled the beans by telling that my son got hurt when a firecracker exploded in his hand before he could throw it away.

I grilled my son on this and he broke down in tears, admitting his fault. I was angry with him, not because he got injured but because he lied. As punishment, I confiscated the rest of his fireworks stock and withheld his raya angpow.

My wife and I then took him to the hospital for treatment. The Hospital Assistant who did the dressing, asked my son how big the firecracker that exploded was. My son replied that it was the size of a small marble.

In jest, the HA responded, `Alaa... kecik aje tu. Lain kali main yang besar terus. Biar power habis!'

Meme : Save Yvonne's Sight

If there is a wonder of technology that can be put to good use, it is the spread of information on good charitable causes. The link of blogosphere friends has led me to the story of one spirited young lady named Yvonne Foong, who is living and fighting with neurofibromatosis. She is carrying out her own fund-raising effort to help pay for the cost of her treatment.

I first spotted this meme on Kak Teh's blog. With the speed of light, I now see other bloggers on my blogroll (mamasita, Pat and Dr Sam) participating too. It was Andrea who tagged me on this one.

Yvonne Foong, 22, has neurofibromatosis type II, which has severely affected her sight and hearing due to tumours in the brain and spine. She is scheduled for an operation between 1 and 4 December 2009. The cost of surgery is USD44,000 or RM154,770, and the cost of staying in hospital for two weeks is USD915 or RM3,219.

She has raised about RM54k (latest figure on her website as of today) of this and is hoping to raise the rest by republishing her book I'm Not Sick; I'm Just a Bit Unwell in English and Chinese. The books are now available in Malaysian bookshops and from her web store. She is also selling T-shirts at bazaars and via her web store. You can read about her surgery and donate to her fund here.

You can also help by sending on this meme.

If you do, please follow these meme rules:

1. Create a blog entry titled "Meme: Save Yvonne's Sight"

2. List three things you love to see. Add in the picture of Yvonne's book cover. The URL is http://www.yvonnefoong.com/images/banner/my-story.jpg

3. End with the line, "Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com/.

4. Tag 5 blog friends. Be sure to copy the rules, OK?

5. If you have a Facebook account, please check out Ellen's new invention, a "feme" pronounced FEEM, a meme designed for Facebook here. And if you want to blog about NF, that would be great too!

Three things I love to see :

1. A big plate of juicy lambchops...

2. A tall cool glass of air bandung soda...

3. Two, no make that three, slices of delicious blueberry cheesecake...

Oops! I can't be serious about the three things I've listed above... it must be the fasting that's influencing my choice.

I am not tagging anybody, so if any of my readers would like to participate, please feel free to copy the meme and spread the good word.

Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her website that I've linked above.

Life is short but wonderful. Do something good. I have already placed an order for a copy of her book.

This year's zakat story

Headnote : For last year's zakat story, click -> here.

The state of Johor has, for the first time, implemented a two-tier rate for zakat fitrah this year. For those of us who consume the normal grade of rice, the fitrah is fixed at RM5.00. For others who eat the higher grades, the rate is RM7.50 per person. Last year, the zakat fitrah in Johor was RM6.50.

In my posting last year, I reproduced a table from the PM's Department, showing the different fitrah rates for all the states in Malaysia. The same website does not have a new table for this year, so I had to google and read various sources to come up with a table of my own.

It is interesting to note that some states have increased their rates while some have made a reduction. While Johor has decided on a two tier rate for this year compared to the single rate of last year, Perlis has gone the other way. Selangor and Wilayah Persekutuan, which had relatively low rates last year, have now made upward revisions to be more in line with the national average.


As a comparison, Singapore's fitrah rates are S$4.50 / S$6.50 per person, the same as the previous year. In that country, you can pay your fitrah by phone service if you so choose. You simply express your intention (niat) and then dial a 1900- number.

I am sure the learned people at Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura (MUIS) has studied this process in detail before deciding that it is an acceptable practice. While I admit that technology is meant for us to be more efficient, paying zakat by way of a telepoll service is stretching it a bit too far. It removes the interaction between the contributor and the amil or collector, to the extent of making it so impersonal. I understand that Kedah has launched a similar method using SMS.

On the other hand, I applaud MUIS for publishing in Singapore's Malay daily paper, a detailed breakdown of the amount of zakat (fitrah and harta) collected for the year and how this collection was distributed. Their total distribution for last year is about S$18.5 million.

Majlis Agama Islam Johor provides similar information about zakat collection and distribution in their website. Last year, MAIJ collected RM100.7 million.

I am trying to compile some data about zakat in the other states but only a few publish the statistics in their website. In fact, some do not have websites at all. For those who have, the display of zakat information shows a fair degree of professionalism and transparency. MAIDAM Terengganu's website for example, has zakat collection data broken down to district level.

Dua cerita berbuka puasa

Saya sebenarnya tidak ada apa sangat hendak diceritakan dalam blog ini. Cuma bila sudah beberapa hari tidak membuat entri baru, terasa ketinggalan pula. Jadi, mahu tak mahu, saya ceritakanlah juga tentang pengalaman berbuka puasa kami sekeluarga beberapa hari yang lepas... walaupun saya tahu cerita pasal berbuka ni dah terlalu biasa dan tidak menarik lagi untuk dibaca.

Namun begitu, untuk mengujudkan sedikit perbezaan dari norma penulisan saya sebelum ini, catatan blog kali ini ditulis dalam Bahasa Melayu. Saya pinjam ide dari kawan baik Versedanggerik.

Shah Alam : Khamis 3hb Sep 2009

Saya mengambil cuti pada hari tersebut kerana hendak ke KLIA bagi menjemput anak sulung kami yang pulang bercuti selama tiga minggu. Sudah dua tahun Along belajar di Timur Tengah. Tahun lepas dia balik juga, cuma terpaksa balik ke sana sebelum Hari Raya. Tahun ini dapatlah dia beraya bersama kami.

Terlanjur kami berada di Kuala Lumpur, kami singgah di Shah Alam untuk mengajak anak kedua kami yang belajar di UiTM untuk berbuka puasa bersama. Buat pertama kali tahun ini, kehadiran ahli berbuka puasa kami sekeluarga cukup sepenuhnya. Kesempatan juga diambil untuk mengajak seorang anak saudara bernama Farhana yang baru masuk Management & Science University di Shah Alam untuk turut serta.

Sebagai menjamu Angah yang selama in berbuka di kafeteria asramanya, saya cuba mencari kedai makan yang menyelerakan. Saya sebenarnya tidak berapa tahu sangat tentang kedai-kedai makan yang sedap di Shah Alam tetapi saya pernah mendengar bahawa ada banyak restoran di kawasan Seksyen 13. Pada mulanya, saya hendak cuba makan di Fiescanto Cafe (pemilik cafe ini pernah menghantar saya emel tentang masakan kacang pol) tetapi kedainya tutup pula. Kami meninjau beberapa restoran lain dan akhirnya membuat keputusan untuk berbuka di sebuah restoran makanan laut bernama Shuhaida Seafood Restaurant.


Restoran ini agak besar juga dan mempunyai hiasan dalaman yang kemas dan selesa. Juadah berbuka kami terdiri dari set menu tujuh jenis hidangan yang dimasak ala `Chinese-style'. Semua lauknya siap dihidang beberapa minit sebelum masuk waktu berbuka. Dalam keadaan perut yang lapar, sudah tentunya apa yang dihidangkan nampak enak belaka. Namun begitu, setelah merasa semua masakan tersebut, yang boleh saya puji hanya masakan ikan sahaja. Rasa lauk yang lain agak biasa... orang putih kata `average only'.

Along dan Adik

Farhana dan Angah

Setelah berbuka, saya menghantar Angah dan Farhana balik ke kampus masing-masing. Kami kemudian bertolak balik ke Johor Bahru malam itu juga.

Singapura : Sabtu dan Ahad 5hb - 6hb Sep 2009

Pada hujung minggu yang lalu, kami sekeluarga telah ke rumah orangtua saya di Singapura. Sebenarnya, adik bongsu saya menjemput kami berbuka di rumahnya pada petang Sabtu. Lagipun, saja nak bawa Along berjumpa dengan Atok dan Nenek dia.

Adik saya memasak mee bandung untuk juadah buka. Sedap juga rasanya sehingga terlupa saya untuk mengambil foto.

Keesokan harinya, sebagaimana biasa, kami mengambil peluang untuk ke Mustafa Centre untuk menghabiskan stok simpanan dolar Singapura kami. Adalah berbelanja sedikit... tak habis pun duit Singapore kami itu. Dan juga sebagaimana biasa, selepas membeli belah di Mustafa Centre, kami menuju pula ke Beach Road untuk membeli sup tulang merah yang dibungkus untuk di bawa balik. Sepuluh sing dolar untuk sepuluh ketul... lebih murah dari yang dijual di JB.

Sup tulang merah Beach Road

Petang itu, emak saya memasak mee siam kuah, antara masakan kegemaran saya (sebenarnya, tiada masakan emak kita yang kita tidak gemar, kan?). Dicampur dengan bubur lambuk masjid dan sup tulang merah tadi, maka penuhlah meja dapur emak saya dengan juadah berbuka puasa.

Oleh kerana masalah kolesterol, saya cuma ambil dua ketul tulang kambing. Anak bongsu saya tukang bereskan yang lain.

Sekian, cerita saya yang tidak seberapa ini. Saya rasa lepas ni saya tak tulis tentang buka puasa dah. Kita tunggu cerita hari raya pula...

No hints, just say it!

I'm taking a break from preparing a powerpoint presentation for tomorrow's meeting. Here's an interlude that I remember getting in an email some time back but rediscovered just now.

The Men’s Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Iftar with a good friend

The nature of my work has taken me to many places in Malaysia and also overseas. Most of the time, such postings were of a temporary nature and hence my family would be left behind in Johor Bahru. I was, in essence, a part-time bachelor (or looking at it the other way, a part-time husband).

I have gotten used to such situations but nothing brings about the real feeling of loneliness like having iftar (the breaking of fast) on your own.

Many years ago, I was working in a small family-owned construction firm in Kuala Lumpur. Most of my co-workers are Chinese and Indians. I was particular close to a Chinese colleague by the name of CP Toh, who is an engineer a few years my junior. During the non-fasting months, Toh and I would normally take our lunch together at a mamak stall nearby our office. It was only during fasting month that I see Toh have his lunch at the Chinese restaurants.

One afternoon, Toh asked me where I would be breaking my fast. At that time, I was a part-time bachelor staying at the company's apartment in Cheras. Sometimes I would just buy some food and break my fast at home but more often than not (to avoid going through heavy evening traffic), I would work late at the office and then break my fast at the same mamak stall.

"At the mamak stall," I replied.

"Let's go to a Ramadhan buffet at one of the hotels," Toh said. "Never mind... I belanja."

I remember Toh taking me to The Legend Hotel near PWTC for iftar that day. The meal costs RM60 per head, one of the most expensive buffet at that time. I told Toh that it costs too much but he simply replied, "Don't worry lah. Once in a while maa..."

A few days later, I thought I would return the favour and asked Toh if he'd join me for buka puasa.

"Sure," he replied. "Where shall we go today?"

I told him that I read about a few good restaurants at KLCC and thought of trying there. He agreed and so we headed for the city centre in my car. We were a bit late in leaving the office and were caught in the terrible traffic. By the time we reached KLCC, it was already a half-past six. We surveyed all the restaurants but they were all fully booked. Even the food court and fast-food joints were packed. Not a single seat available.

I was regretting my choice of place to buka puasa, when Toh suggested, "Why don't we buy something light for you to buka puasa first... we have the light meal outside at the park and try the restaurants again later when most of the people have finished."

What a wonderful idea... trust my Chinese friend to come up with a solution to problem that actually affects me more than him. And so we ended up buying some pretzels from the Auntie Anne kiosk and pack drinks from the newstand store. We then sat on the steps facing the fountain at KLCC park and chatted away while waiting for the sun to set. Although my friend could have munched into his pretzel anytime, he respectfully waited for the appropriate time.

After what we thought was ample time for the crowds to finish their meal, we went again to the restaurants to try our luck. There were seats available at Kelantan Delights, a restaurant serving Malay east-coast delicacies. Although the buffet spread was quite extensive, I didn't think it was that tasty and value-for-money. I can get more delicious Kelantanese food at cheaper prices at many other simple restaurants around KL.

Toh and I parted ways when both he and I left the company at around the same time. It has been quite a while since I last spoke to him. I am thinking that perhaps I should give him a call tomorrow, setakat untuk bertanya khabar...

Selamat Hari Merdeka

Our nation turns 52 tomorrow. It may not be smooth sailing on the political front at present but at least let us be grateful that we are still living in peace and with a fair degree of prosperity.

As someone once put it, `Negara kita ini kecik aje... kalau bukan kita yang jaga, siapa?'

Happy Merdeka Day to all my fellow Malaysians, of whatever creed or colour.