She was sitting across him in the cosy restaurant of a 5-star hotel. Her hands were twisting the teacup on its saucer, a clear sign of edginess.
`You’ve not finished your dessert,’ he says, looking at the half-eaten apple pie on the small plate on the table.
`I am not actually hungry,’ she responds. He just nods, sips his coffee and looks at her in silence. It is obvious that she wants to say something but probably finding it hard to know where to begin. The restaurant is practically quite now, with most of the lunch crowd already gone.
She takes a deep breath and then asks, `Why are you leaving?’
`It is time to do so,’ he answers with a subtle shrug of the shoulders.
`There must be more reasons than that?’
`Yes, there are I guess… but it won’t make a difference for you to know.’
`Uh-huh… who am I to be asking you these things, right?’, she rhetorically asks in a resigned tone.
He does not give an answer... because he knows there isn’t a correct one.
40 comments:
ahhhhh....
a classic case of 'its hard to say goodbye', but only for one party. Not the other...
What a cliff-hanger!
Oooh!! Why? Why?
Senang2 jer cakap its time!
I pun nak tahu WHY??
Oldstock,
I am curious, very curious. Are you the 'he' in which case you have a lot of explanations to do, not to me though or were you evesdropping? And what was the outcome of that episode? Pray tell!!!
Err..macam ada kejadian cinta terlarang je bunyinye..kih kih kih..
makes a good drama swasta scene, dontcha think?
huh?
erm... who is he and who is she? :d
i like the narrative very much.. i try to imagine myself as part of it...
drama swasta scene hmm...and with this theme song:
...What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do...
p/s any chances you becoming the pengarah? hehe!
A snippet from your novel? I like :)
I like the pace you've created. An excellent 'lag' time, to coincide with her indecision, and his need to not 'tell'.
Write me? I'm at patzplaze@gmail.com. I'd love to explore bits and pieces of this, but not here lah. People would think I am so 'as if'... like I'm some big editor type! And I'm not!!!
No need to 'approve' this comment. Please hit delete. But do write to me :)
Cinta terlarang? Can't help myself to laugh HLiza.. Hahahaha..
Blurr lah I, got part 2 coming or not?
Verse,
Yes... as always, it is more difficult for one party to say goodbye.
Zen, no so lah.... I just try post a snippet of a story that's floating around in my head.
mamasita,
I'm afraid you'll never know why... some men are just secretive about these things, heheheh :-)
NanaDJ,
I'll leave you in perpetual curiosity... because if I answer your question, the mystery would be lost, hehehe..
But let's wait for the next installment, shall we? Maybe it'll help reveal some more, or otherwise make you more curious :-)
Amboi Puan Hliza,
Cepat je meneka `cinta terlarang' ye...
Aizan,
I guess it could make a good drama scene. I need to take a course on script-writing skills if I wish to go down that line.
Snake,
Aha!
Zafi,
You can imagine yourself to be the `he'. As (or perhaps, if) the story unfolds, you can judge if the character suits your personality.
Lili,
Wow... the words of that theme song is so close to the full story that I have in my mind.
p/s - takleh jadi pengarah, mungkin stakat penulis skrip je :-)
Pat,
Nope, not a novel. That's too big a task, for now at least.
Maybe a short story first. I typed down that snippet in about half-an-hour in the office yesterday while waiting for some drawings to be printed. The whole story is not written yet.
I am honoured by your offer to review my writings. In fact, I already have in mind to ask for your help to comment on my first (still in progress) short story and this offer of your makes it all the more encouraging. As we Malays say, kecil tapak tangan...
The only thing outstanding now is for me to finish writing it *sigh*
Anyways, I'll be in touch soon. Thanks.
Rina,
Write about `cinta', even a teeny weeny piece, and women are instantly attracted :-)
Tommy,
There is a Part 2... and possibly parts 3, 4 and so forth. Tapi tengok mood la kawan :-)
Whoa... oldstock & creative writing?!! interesting..... ;)
..you are beginning to sound like pakmat...or is pakmat sounding like you..?..:)..whatever..but take care..
And I thot u were writing a musical, that woman went berserk, threw the pie at that guy’s face & started belting this song out…hehehe
I wanna start a fight
Sir, haiya.... the genre is so stereotypical!! It reflects the lifestyle of people today. :(
Hello Old stock, Holy Smoke...thats when the heart ache begins...saying goodbye.
I guess one or the other has to build a bridge and cross over....
Very nice interesting part you have posted....makes us think, wonder, same time feel the sadness of a parting.
Have a nice day, Lee.
hello oldstock
fleetingly, for a split second, I thought this was an excerpt from Danielle
Steel novel ^^.
Bidding goodbye is never easy, especially when it involve some1 we cared about.
Nice one you got here...
You can write sir! is thing going to be a beginning to the end?
Justiffa,
Creative writing is something that I've wanted to do for quite some time. As always, it's the procrastination thing that's holding it back.
Pakmat,
Still quite a distance for me to reach the masterskill level of Pakmat :-)
Tommy,
The lady in this story won't become like that maa... but maybe I'll make her to be a bit upset, heheheh..
D,
It's just a snippet of a whole story. It may turn out stereotypical in the end but I don't think the characters I have in mind have typical lifestyles.
Hi Lee,
We meet new friends everyday and as we travel on the path of life, we part ways with most of our friends. Goodbyes are things we all experience... only that some goodbyes are more painful than others.
You take care too, my friend.
Hello Anon@15:27,
I can't write like Danielle Steele. This is just something that I want to try out. Thanks for dropping by.
Dr Sam,
I think I'll write another one or two segment of this story. Then it'll be the end.
Salam Oldstock,
You know something...an old friend recently told me a story...it went pretty much the way you narrated... the only twist....SHE was saying goodbye and HE was asking why.
She was his wife!
Salam anne,
Maybe someday I'll write another snippet with the roles switched :-)
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