It's the end of the year...

Events that happened in this month of December 2016 :

1. The Sultan of Kelantan, Sultan Muhammad V, was appointed as the country's supreme ruler, the 15th Yang Dipertuan Agong.

2. The invitation to former Prime Minister Tun Mahathir to attend the Agong's installation ceremony was cancelled because the Palace authorities `could not allocate him with a seat'. Rather than letting the Tun be `embarrassed' by being forced to stand (as opposed to other dignitaries who would be seated), they decide it is better to withdraw the invitation.

3. A few days after watching a CGI-enhanced Princess Leia say something about `Hope' in the closing scene of Rogue One (I must say, the CGI image was quite horrible, not the way I remember the young Leia in Episode IV), Carrie Fisher departed this world.

4. My 7-year old grand-nephew, Qhamarull Suhayl bin Suhainizam, lost his life in an automobile accident in Subang Jaya.

5. My second son, Harith Shahiran, completed his studies in Medicine at Hasanuddin University, Makassar, Indonesia.

Happy, sad and indifferent news.

Wishing all my friends and readers a happy and fruitful 2017 ahead. May your days be filled with joy and laughter. May sorrows and hardship take a back seat. May the Almighty grant you patience and perseverance to face all challenges.

Achievement after 6 years of hard work and onward for greater challenges

Good, bad and indifferent news

Events that happened in this past month of September 2016 :

1. Three athletes from Malaysia won gold at Rio 2016 Paralympics, for the first time ever.

2. JDT made history by winning the Malaysia Super League, 3 times in a row. 

3. Our DPM made known to the world of his English public-speaking skills.

4. The no. 1 university in the country denies having awarded an honorary PhD to a well-known motivational speaker.

5. My sister-in-law, Hajjah Zainab Bt Mohd Amin (fondly known as Mak We to her nephews and nieces), lost her long-fought battle against cancer.

Good, bad and indifferent news. No prizes for guessing which one I care about the most.

Hajjah Zainab was the second child in a family of 13 siblings. She was my wife's 2nd eldest sister and used to reside at her hometown of Mersing until a few years ago, when illness and treatments at hospitals in Putrajaya and Kuala Lumpur caused her to stay with her youngest daughter.

I have very fond memories of her. When I married my wife those many years ago, her house was where I stayed at before the nikah ceremony proper. It was there I was first introduced to my then to-be niece, a sweet little 5-year old girl. The little girl has now grown up, with a family of her own. Thank you dear Maslin Md Ramly and your kind husband Isa Hoo Abdullah, for your dedication in taking care of your mother until her final day.

Tiga generasi di pusara allahyarham Hjh Zainab Bt Mohd Amin
 kembali ke rahmatullah pada hari Isnin 26 September 2016.
Gambar diambil (tanpa kebenaran) dari FB Puan Maslin.

Back to writing.... again (I hope)...

My second son Harith, who studies at a university in Makassar Indonesia, sent me a whatsapp message last week. He asked why I have stopped updating this blog. I messaged back, saying that my interest in blogging seem to be waning although I do have a few stories floating about in my mind.

As a form of encouragement for me to continue, my son told me that I have a readership base in Indonesia (hmmm... really?). He has an Indonesian friend who likes to read this blog, especially on things relating to local Malaysian culture. Well, I guess that's a good reason enough as any to keep this sparsely-posted blog alive.

I'll resume with a short post. Below is an outdoor wedding photo of our nephew, Ridzuan Zaid during the reception at his parent's home in Tangkak, Muar last month. The pretty bride is Nur Diyana Zainal Abidin, who hails from the small town of Batu Kikir in Negeri Sembilan.

We had made the trip to the bride's family home for the engagement ceremony some time last year and I had hoped to write more about that visit. I'll try to do that for my next post, insyaAllah...

Ridzuan and Diyana. 16 April 2016

And then there were three...

In April of 2010, I posted an entry where I introduced my brothers to the readers of this blog. The short entry, titled Four Brothers, included a photograph of the quartet of men whose maximum age difference is only six years apart, with yours truly being the eldest.

Only three of us remain today. On this day last week, the 3rd brother Azhar, left us... quite suddenly.

It was early morning of last Friday when I received a phone call informing us of his unexpected demise. Apparently, he had woken up that morning, feeling a bit under the weather. He had asked his elder son to accompany him to the clinic. Since there was a paramedic post at the next apartment block, the son suggested that they get the aid of an ambulance to go directly to a hospital. As they were walking towards the post, my brother collapsed and fell on the sidewalk, just a few yards short of the post. A paramedic on duty saw the incident and rushed to provide CPR assistance. My brother could not be revived. However, they still put him in the ambulance and took him to the nearest hospital, just to be sure. But it is God's will... I was to lose a brother. The death of the closest family member I have experienced thus far.

My brother did not have any history of serious medical problems, which is why his departure was very much unexpected. And because of this absence of medical record, the doctors at the hospital which first received his body would not sign off the death certificate. An autopsy had to be performed at the Singapore General Hospital to determine the actual cause of death. This meant that the burial ceremony could not be carried out as soon as we would have liked.

The post-mortem examination could only be carried on Saturday morning. This delay put additional stress on my sister-in-law, the widow. I also had a bit of trouble keeping my cool as some relatives were pressing us to secure the release of the body as soon as possible. Nonetheless, with the help of my two other brothers, we handled the situation as best we could by dividing tasks. One of my brothers arranged for the burial process with our local mosque committee while the other was stationed at the coroner's office to update us on the progress of the autopsy.

The autopsy was completed around 12.45pm. The official COD was listed as coronary atherosclerosis. In plain man's language it means that there were blockages to the arteries that supply blood to the heart. In other words, my brother died of a heart attack. He was only 49 years old.

The due process of the burial requirements proceeded immediately after the body was released from the coroner's office. My brother's body was brought back to his home in Choa Chu Kang where it was cleaned, shrouded and final prayers offered, before burial at the Pusara Abadi Muslim Cemetery at around 4 pm. Praise to Allah swt for the reasonably smooth process and the pleasant weather.

The most difficult part was actually the day earlier... how do I break the news to our mother? At that time (and even till today), she was warded at St. Luke's Hospital in Bukit Batok for physiotherapy treatment following her heart attack which happened in June. While the death had occurred in early morning, my two other brothers decided to wait for my arrival from JB in late afternoon for me to tell our mother the sad news. It is probably the gloomiest moment in my life to date. I could not imagine the sorrow going through her heart to be told that one of her offspring has departed ahead of her.

As I sit now and contemplate the recent conversations I had with my late brother, it becomes inevitable that certain ironic instances come to the surface. I'll share one such example.

Some time ago, my youngest brother (no. 4) created a Whatsapp group for the 4 siblings to facilitate the sharing of news and family updates. It is a convenient tool because we are located in three different countries (Singapore, Malaysia and the UK). However, the group has only three members because Brother No. 3 could not be added. At first we assumed that he was still using a normal mobile phone. When I met him in June at the time our mother was admitted to hospital, I saw that he actually used a smartphone. So I told him that we have a Whatsapp group for the brothers and it is a convenient way to communicate, citing the particular example of the present situation where our mum is in hospital. Why don't you install the app, I asked. His answer then, was quite surprising. I don't believe in social media, he said. I don't have Whatsapp or Facebook or all those other stuff. I am using this smartphone only because it is the cheapest phone on contract offered by the telephone company.

Indeed. I guess our Whatsapp group for brothers, which started with three members, is destined to remain at 3, at least for now.

Al-fatihah untuk allahyarham Azhar Bin Isma Yatim. Kembali ke rahmatullah pada pagi hari Jumaat, 14hb Ogos 2015M, bersamaan 29 Syawal 1436H. Meninggalkan seorang isteri, 2 orang anak perempuan dan 2 orang anak lelaki. Semuga Allah swt mengampuni dosa beliau dan menempatkan roh beliau di kalangan para soliheen.

Same photo from the April 2010 post. Allahyarham Azhar is seated right.

Final resting place...

The last of the brood has flown the nest

As the cycle of day and night turn into months and years, the passage of time brings us closer towards the sunset period of our lives. A sure sign of this ageing process is when our offspring grow up to be as tall or even taller than we are, ask to drive our car because they already have driving licences and no longer feel comfortable accompanying us to social events like weddings and the like. And when they enrol into college and have to live on campus, you'll soon have to adapt to the quiet life where you wouldn't have anyone left to ask to do errands any more.

Our youngest son has left home to study at UiTM in Pulau Pinang. Two weeks ago, we sent him to register for the diploma course in mechanical engineering. It was our third trip to Pulau Pinang this year.

In the blink of an eye, the missus and I are back to being a sweet couple... a sweet old couple. It doesn't feel that long ago when we were busy handling 3 energetic boys through various changes and challenges. Now that they have all grown up, perhaps it is time for us to focus on other things and think of the days to come. I was thinking of doing more travel and possibly getting involved in some social work. And catch up on reading and writing too...

Our youngest son, Imran cutting his 18th birthday cake in January this year

Scanned photo from year 2000 with the youngest man in the middle

We took the ferry from the island to the UiTM campus at Permatang Pauh

Weekend family picnic

I have previously written of this holiday place called Warisan Bernam Agro Resort owned by a brother-in-law of mine, located on the banks of Sungai Bernam that forms the border between Selangor and Perak.

We went there again yesterday after last going there more than a year ago. My BIL invited in-laws from his wife's side of the family and we had a lovely picnic by the riverside. The weather also played its part... except for a five-minute brief spell of rain, it was a wonderfully dry day all along. The kids and parents had a splashing time dipping themselves in the cool running river water.

I had a brief dip in the river myself but spent most of the time trying to improve my photo-taking skills in capturing landscape and macro shots. Here are some pics from yesterday's outing.

Warisan Bernam Agro Resort, front view of A-shaped huts

Stream running at the rear

Purple flowers, but donno the name lah...

Smoky picnic site...

And the smoke coming from this BBQ pit

Bee on purple flower

Grasshopper

A grand old man... again

Last weekend, we made the trip to Kota Tinggi to visit the latest addition to our very large extended family. Our nephew's wife, Melati Razak, has safely given birth to her third child a few weeks ago. She now has a son to add to her two daughters. Our nephew is so happy to have a boy with whom he can probably later talk about football or table tennis or other sports.

Our grand-nephew was born on the daybreak of Friday 21 September 2012 and has been named Muhammad Hidayat Asraf. The sister to this baby named Nurul Aqilah, is the one I wrote about in a previous post in February 2009, titled A Grand Old Man. At that time, the sister is the 10th great-grandchild of the Hj. Mohd Amin clan. Three and a half years down the road, the new baby boy holds the 22nd position. My wife and I now have 22 kids calling us `Tok'.

Muhammad Hidayat was delivered a few days delayed from his due date. I told the mother that the baby purposely did not want to come out earlier because he wanted to wait for a special day. He shares the same birthday as his grand-aunt, Mrs Oldstock.

Oldstock with latest grand-nephew and 3-year old grand-niece

Remembering the one who has gone before us

Around this time 14 years ago, my mother-in-law passed away. She had been staying with us for some time. She was not in the best of health at the time, having suffered a stroke that paralyzed one side of her body and made her speech incoherent. She was also surviving with the aid of a heart pacemaker, which at the time of her stroke, was already at the end of its service and due for replacement.

Despite all the setbacks, my mother-in-law took her situation with all the patience she could muster. She hardly whined or complained. Redha is the Malay word for it.

I still remember the last few days before she left us. I was working at a construction project in Negeri Sembilan at that time, but was at home in Johor Bahru for the Hari Merdeka holiday. That evening, my wife noted that her mother was in severe pain and asked me to take her to the nearby clinic. I helped my MIL into a wheelchair and pushed her to my car. We drove to the clinic located about 10 minutes away. Dr. Ismail whom we personally know, took one look at my MIL and immediately advised us to go to the hospital. We drove straight to Hospital Tun Aminah and my MIL was admitted.

After the admission process was done with, I had a feeling that this could be the time. I told my wife to call her father (who was living alone at the kampung house) and one of her elder brothers. This elder brother would then be tasked to inform the other siblings, most of whom were staying in the Klang valley.

The next day, my father-in-law arrived from Mersing. Some of my other in-laws also arrived on the same day and many relatives came on the next. But by that time, my MIL was no longer conscious. She passed away early morning on her third day in hospital. She is now buried at the At-Tahiriyyah muslim cemetery in Kg Sri Pantai, Mersing.

Every year during Aidilfitri, usually on the 2nd or 3rd day of hari raya, the family would gather at her grave to recite the surah Yaasin and pray to the Almighty to pardon her sins. Actually, this practice of gathering at the cemetery at Aidilfitri is not a religious command but rather a cultural one. Many Muslim scholars have debated on this issue but it is not my intention to elaborate about it in this post. I am not against it because it is perhaps the only one time of the year where most of the family members can gather at the same place. While the original intention is for us to remember the dead, I believe it also helps to foster closer relations among those still living.

On my own side of the family, this ritual is not practiced. My mother has never brought us visit her father's or mother's grave during our hari raya trips back to her kampung. But one of these days, I would like to bring her to visit my grandparents' resting place because I have fond memories of them, especially during those happy days of hari raya where we would spend at the old kampung house together with so many of our cousins.

I was wondering the other day, if my youngest son has any memory of his late grandmother, because he was only 3 years-old at the time. My wife says that he has... which sort of surprised me a bit at first, since I myself can't recall anything from that age. But I guess it is possible for my son because my MIL was living with us for a few years.

My late mother-in-law, Hajah Sapiah Bt. Mohamad, passed away on 3rd September 1998. On the same date this year, one of our nieces gave birth to a healthy baby girl. The new baby is the 20th great-grandchild in the family.

Prayers for our mother at this year's gathering

Creativity takes courage

Among the members of my extended family, there are not many whom I can put into the creative category. These are the type of persons who have talent in the arts. Painting, craftwork, writing, music or even carpentry.

I have a few sisters-in-law who are quite good in handicraft and decorations, especially in the traditional Malay wedding gifts (gubahan hantaran). My own mother can draw quite well and I've always believed that she would have been a great painter had not the domestic demands of those early years taken priority.

I have previously introduced to readers, a niece of mine, Mazny MR, who is an author. Her first book is titled Lentera Cinta Albaicin. Today I am introducing another niece, whose creativity is in the field of art and sculpture. Just so happen that this up and coming artist is the younger sister to the other one. Her name is Maslin.

Last weekend, we were at Shah Alam to attend the aqiqah ceremony of Maslin's son. We took the opportunity to visit her studio. Maslin's speciality is working with wax. The following photographs show some of her creations.

I told the two sisters that I am proud to have two very brave and talented nieces. A writer and a painter. This old uncle of theirs can only write in blogs...

One corner of the studio

Childhood memories

My grandniece (who is a niece of my niece)

Do you see the overriding theme?

Chances are...

My better half suffers from a skin ailment which afflicted her just after we got married. The cause of the disease is still not known and scientists have yet to find a definitive cure.

In September of last year, the situation became a bit serious and she had to spend a week in hospital. After a regime of antibiotics and other medication, her condition improved but the specialist doctor still could not pinpoint the exact cause.

Six months ago, the skin inflammation recurred and she had to be warded again. As I was helping her `check-in' at the time, it surprised me a bit that she was assigned the same bed in the same room of the 1st Class Ward at Hospital Sultanah Aminah, here in Johor Bahru. The HSA is the oldest government hospital in the city. Its 1st Class ward is located in a new wing and the rooms are quite comfortable. Nearly on par with that of private hospitals. The sad thing is that, admission to 1st Class is quite restricted and upon direction of the specialist doctors only. The rest of the common folk have to make do with beds in the lower classes. The Malay proverb of `duduk sama rendah, berdiri sama tinggi' does not apply in this case. How I wish that one day, all Malaysians can have access to equal health treatment.

The duration of my wife's second stay at the hospital was as long the the first. Again, still no clues as to what caused the recurrence.

Last night, her skin flared up again and I took time off from work to accompany her to the hospital earlier this afternoon. While waiting for the administrative work at the admissions counter, I casually mention that it would be a very slim chance indeed if she gets the same bed again. Once registration is cleared, a nurse leads the way to the room, and lo and behold.... it is the same bed, three times in a row! What a coincidence. My wife shares this fact with the nurse and we are all amused. I jokingly add that my wife has signed a long term tenancy with the hospital for that particular bed.

I did a quick mental calculation on the probability of such an event happening. The women's first class ward at HSA JB has 16 beds. That means 1 in 16 chance (or 6.25%) of being assigned the same bed on the second visit. If my memory of Probability Theory serves me right, the chances of the same thing happening the third time is not doubled but squared.... i.e. 1 in 256 or a teeny-weeny 0.39% only. How's that for great odds.

Well.... the jesting aside, I wouldn't want my missus to be spending time in that bed (or any other hospital bed for that matter) longer than necessary. I hope she gets well soon.

Leyla or Karmila?

I have just finished reading my latest book last night. It is a Malay novel titled `Lentera Cinta Albaicin', written by a local writer who's new to the literary scene.

I don't read buku cerita Melayu that much, let alone romance novels, so there must be a very particular reason why I read this book... but I'll get to that point a little later. Of the three words that make the title of this novel, I only knew the one in the middle. I had to look up what the other two meant... very humbling indeed.

Lentera is the Malay name for a lamp or lantern with an external casing of glass or glass windows. Albaicin is a district in the city of Granada, Spain. Also spelled Albaizin, this place is the old Arab-Moorish quarter of the historical city that is more well-known for the beautiful palace of Alhambra.

The novel tells the story of a young man from the small town of Mersing in Johor, who decides to travel to faraway Europe to help his friend of Arab-Morrocan descent whom he met while studying at UIA, set up an Islamic pre-school in Albaicin, Granada. He lives with his friend's family and gets to know the other relatives and also the friendly local Muslim community. But life as a Muslim in a Christian country is not without its challenges. The book tells the story of these challenges and how the young man tries his best to overcome them using the knowledge he has gained from his education and religious upbringing. Along the way, he meets the beautiful Leyla Zulaikha... but at the same time is reminded of the sweet and shy Nur Karmila from his kampung.

The Alhambra Palace in Granada with a view of Albaicin in the background on the right.

Within the Alhambra compound...

It took me quite a while to finish reading this book, mainly because it is not the type of book that forms my area of reading interest. But finish it I did, and I needed to, because the author may soon be asking me of my opinion of it.

Lentera Cinta Albaicin is the debut novel from writer Mazny M.R. The author is my niece. She is the first novelist in the family. I am perhaps, the only other family member who has any literary or writing interest. I only write in blogs but my niece has already achieved her dream of having her first fiction effort out in print. Way to go, Mazny. Keep on writing...

Book title : Lentera Cinta Albaicin
Author : Mazny M.R.
Pages : 506
Genre : Novel Tarbiah Dewasa
Publisher : Galeri Ilmu Sdn Bhd

For the love of our parents

Around this time last year, I wrote about the Aidil Adha celebrations and the process of qurbani (sacrifice of livestock) at the mosque near my parents' home. In that post, I mentioned that the noblest aspect of sacrifice is expecting nothing in return. Today, that particular phrase is reminding me of the effort of one particular person, at this present time... and I thought it would be good to write about it, just so there is something for me to remember by, some time in the future.

My family and I are spending this year's Hari Raya Korban at my sister-in-law's place in Selangor. This particular sis-in-law is my wife's eldest sibling. Kak Long Salmah, a retired schoolteacher, is now 67-years old and lives with another sister at Seri Kembangan. Since early this year, both of them have taken on the task of taking care of their ailing and bedridden father. For those of you who have the experience of caring for an elderly person, you will know that it is not something easy. In this case, it is doubly difficult because my father-in-law is someone whose level of patience is towards the lower end of the scale. And to comply with the rule of inverse proportionality, if the one being taken care of is short on `kesabaran', then the one doing the caring needs to have tons of it. Otherwise, the situation would become explosive and ultimately untenable.

Kak Long is not in a healthy condition herself. Many years ago when in her late-forties, she suffered breast cancer. Through a lengthy and arduous treatment of chemotherapy and surgery, she survived. After the death of her husband, she raised her only daughter single-handedly. Being the eldest child in a very large family, Kak Long had been looking out for her 12 younger brothers and sisters all her life. According to my wife, Kak Long was the one who helped buy clothes and shoes for the younger ones during hari raya. A schoolteacher's pay is not lavish but when it comes to family, she was never stingy.

This is not the first time Kak Long is looking after a sick parent. In 1997, she and my wife took on the duty of caring for their mother who was suffering from stroke. My mother-in-law was due for an operation to replace her heart pacemaker when the stroke happened. She became paralysed on one-half of her body and was no longer able to speak properly. Because of this condition, she declined to have the pacemaker replaced, accepting whatever fate that the Almighty has written. Looking after her became a full-time job which Kak Long and my wife shared equally. I was only a bit player in the whole show, helping out here and there when required... to put it simply, there are just things that only daughters are able to do to help their mothers.

My mother-in-law departed in September 1998. Kak Long completed her service as a teacher and retired to live in Kuala Lumpur. My father-in-law re-married and stayed with his new wife.

In December last year, my stepmother-in-law passed away. One of the immediate issues that surfaced from this event was : who is going to take care of my bedridden father-in-law? As an interim move, one of my brother-in-laws offered to take in the old man. But this could not go on for long because my brother-in-law's wife is already looking after her own sick mother. Attending to two elderly persons in the same house is too stressful a task for one person to handle. Something had to be done to resolve this problem.

Ultimately it was Kak Long and another sister who offered to be caretakers. Although it is my father-in-law's wish to have his sons look after him, it ends up with the eldest and youngest daughters doing the job. Despite her own failing health situation, Kak Long has taken on a heavy responsibility at the expense of her own personal comfort. She has now done the honourable duty of the selfless daughter who has taken care of both her mother and her father. That indeed, is a clear example of sacrifice.

For Kak Long, this year's Aidil Adha was spent in a hospital ward. She was admitted last week and diagnosed with fluid in her lungs. Pulmonary edema.... that's the medical term.

I have been visiting Kak Long at Putrajaya Hospital for the past few days. My prayers to Allah swt for the recovery of Salmah Bt Hj Md Amin and bless her for all the good deeds she has done for our family.

This year's Aidilfitri...

The first day of Aidilfitri this year was spent at my parents' home in Singapore. My father and my mother are the oldest surviving family members this side of the causeway and as such, they have become the focal point of visits from relatives during this festive occasion. My wife and I have to act as hosts in receiving the large number of guests, most of whom are my cousins and their children.

As always, it was a noisy and joyous day throughout, even though it was pretty tiring... but then, it is only for one celebration each year. Otherwise I doubt us cousins would meet up at all.

It was also a happier hari raya for us this time because my youngest brother who's based overseas, is presently home for the holidays with his family. I got to meet my two nieces and one nephew whom I last saw more than three years ago. With the exception of my second son (who is back in college in Indonesia), my father and mother had an Aidilfitri with the full complement of their grandchildren.

Grandparents and their grandchildren. The eldest grandson is 22 years while the youngest granddaughter is 8.

Telling the truth now, will hurt... but not telling will hurt even more

There are certain times in our lives when we face a situation that puts us in dilemma. More often than not, such a situation is a result of a decision or choice we made quite a long time ago. At the point in time when the decision was made, we believed that it was the correct one, or at least it was the most appropriate one under the circumstances. In actual fact, we are merely pushing the problem to a later date, hoping that somehow a favourable solution would present itself sometime in the future. Sooner or later, we come to the inevitable point of dealing with the matter, whether we like it or not.

A few days ago, my cousin met me to discuss about a problem she is facing. She is making preparations for the wedding of her only daughter in a few month's time. She wants my help to arrange for my mother (being the closest elder family member) to be present when she breaks an important piece of news to the young lady who's getting married. And what is this important bit of news that needs to be told?

The young lady is adopted. My niece is not my cousin's biological daughter. When my cousin got married many years ago, she found out that she couldn't bear any children of her own. An opportunity came by her way when someone gave up a baby girl for adoption. My cousin took up the offer and proceeded to raise the girl as her own. I can still remember the first time I set eyes on my cousin's new daughter. She was so cute and chubby, and everyone adored her.

The baby girl has now grown up to be a pretty young lady. She started work as a graphic designer a few years ago and her hand is now sought in marriage by a handsome young man.

The time has therefore arrived for the mother to reveal to the daughter who she actually is. It is something that cannot be avoided, especially in Muslim marriages. My cousin is now in the unenviable position of finding a way of breaking the news to the young lady. I can picture the heartache and grief that both mother and daughter will face when the news is broken. Expect tears to flow, all around.

Why is my cousin asking me for advice? Because I have first-hand experience of such a situation. My own youngest sister is adopted. The day when my parents told her the real story was one of the saddest days of my life.

I recall the day very well. My mother had called me one day, asking me to come home urgently. Something to do with my sister, she said. I went to my parent's home with my wife. On reaching there, I saw that all my three younger brothers have already arrived. When we were all seated, my father started to speak. The old man is a seasoned speaker and he delivered the story in a most gentle and calm manner as he could. Even so, how are we to know what my sister felt at that time? When my father finished speaking, it was the turn of my mother... and the emotions started to flow as soon as she spoke. When she finished, the time came for the brothers to speak. Being the eldest, I spoke first. I wasn't sure what I said had helped relieve my sister's feeling of grief and possibly disappointment at that time.

I love my sister very much. Before she came into our life, we were four mischievous siblings, all boys. My mother brought her home when I was 13-years old. I helped my mother take care of her until the day I had to enroll into boarding school. Never once did it cross my mind that she and I do not carry the same blood.

I told my cousin our story. How she would approach her own situation now would very much depend on how she expect the reaction would be from her daughter. It would be preferable, I thought, if my cousin was to speak to her daughter on a one-to-one basis. The fewer people around, the better... because it always hurt you more to know that other people know about your background than your own self. But if my cousin feels that she needs our moral support, then we will be there. Whatever it is, I hope she doesn't wait too long. Waiting does not help lighten the sorrow...

Zul and Nurul's Special Day

My brother-in-law, Zulkipli Mohd Amin tied the knot with a young lady from Hutan Melintang in Perak, last month. As usual, I took a lot of photos of the event, both at the bride's and the groom's side. I was too busy with work and other stuff to compile them properly... until the enforced time-off this weekend (see previous post) enabled me to create a simple video of the still pics.

I welcome Nurul-huda Ismail into this large family of ours... may your marriage be blessed and showered with happiness always, insyaAllah.

The related story of the engagement ceremony last year was posted here -> A new addition to the family.

In a sulking mood...

No, not me... but a young lady tengah merajuk after not getting to do what she wants.

It has been a really busy month. Have been catching up with already delayed work at site with a number of public holidays in between... now that's when you wish there weren't any public holidays. Then there was the wedding of my brother-in-law. First was the nikah ceremony last week at the bride's home in Perak and last night was the reception at the groom's house in Shah Alam. And then I have to think of moving house by the end of the month. Gosh, I'm beat... but overall, better being busy than having nothing to do at all.

So today's post is just simple pic I caught of my grandniece Nurul Aqilah in a moody pose at last night's reception. Maybe I'll write about the wedding event a bit later.

Now why can't they let me do what I want....

The first engagement of the year

Ever since I got hold of a DSLR camera about a year ago, I became the unofficial photographer at most of our family functions and events... namely weddings and engagements. I cannot claim to match the pros because my arsenal of lenses and photo gadgets is still very basic. But the joy I derive from taking pictures becomes meaningful because after loading them online, the pics can be viewed by other relatives who could not make it to the event.

Yesterday was the first engagement ceremony for 2011. Our niece, Siti Nurul Solihin bt. Zaid, is now promised to be married to a handsome young chap from Besut, Terengganu. The ceremony was held at my brother-in-law's house in Tangkak, Johor.

Congratulations to the family of Zaid Md Amin and Noraini Ali Afendi on the prospect of welcoming a new member into the family. God willing, I will join the trip to Terengganu next year.

The future groom is Muslim bin Mausin

Sweet... but brutal too!

Used the old road on the way back to catch this view of Gunung Ledang

Three reasons to be proud

Whenever there comes a need for me to reflect on my achievements in life thus far, I always fall back on the fact that I have three smart and responsible sons. I may not have hit my ambition of making my first million by forty. I am not yet a big tauke and I still have large credit card debts to settle. But despite all the problems and struggles, I can still look at my three sons and say that I have at least done that part of it right, the raising of them I mean.

My first and second sons did very well in their studies and are now pursuing tertiary education overseas. Both are taking up medicine.

Yesterday, my third and youngest son Imran Azizi showed that he is as clever as his elder brothers by scoring in the PMR exams. My hope is for him to continue to study well and proceed to the highest level. He has indicated that he is not interested in becoming a doctor but that's okay by me. He can be anything he wants to be as long as he puts his skills and knowledge to good use.

When my son was taking the exams a few months ago, I decided to be the one to drive him to school everyday. This was after hearing advice from a close friend who said that being there for my son would be the best support that a father can ever give. By coincidence, two situations abled or perhaps forced me to carry out the task. Firstly, I was without a steady job at the time and secondly, my wife was still recovering from ailment which caused her to be hospitalised the week before. So like it or not, it was something that I had to do... and I wanted to, anyway. So everyday on exam day for almost 2 weeks, I drove my son to school, dropped him off at the gate, got out of the car, say a short silent prayer before hugging him and wishing him luck. He may not have required it but there's nothing to lose and it feels good doing so.

There was even one day where there was another exam paper in the afternoon which meant he couldn't come home for lunch. On that day, my wife and I bought him his favourite nasi ambeng, brought it to school where we had lunch together. I enjoyed doing that and hope I can do it again some time in future. Pretty soon he'll be all grown-up and there's no more child of school-going age left in the house.


I am sort of going through a rough patch on the workfront since a few months ago but the good results from my son yesterday really brightened up my day... so I hope readers can pardon me for this post of self-gratification. I am pretty confident things will become better for us in the coming days. Thanks also to my better half for helping raise three lovely boys. Most of the credit should go to her...

May her patience be rewarded

It was on this day last week my wife received a telephone call from someone at her hometown. It was unexpected news. My mother-in-law has passed away while seated at the living room. Her death was discovered by a neighbour who had come to visit my ailing father-in-law.

I say that her demise was unexpected because it is my father-in-law who is the weaker of the two. He is now 95-years old and has been bedridden for more than 4 years. He suffers from most of the ailments inherent of old age but the primary affliction is prostate cancer that I previously wrote about two years ago, here -> Internal plumbing.

My mother-in-law, on the other hand, was still able to move about on her own and except for her history of hypertension, was comparatively in better health. Actually she was not exactly my mother-in-law... because my original one passed away in September 1998. After a year of her passing, my father-in-law remarried another lady because he felt that he still require the companionship. At that time, my new stepmother-in-law, if there is such a term, was already a widow of more than 30 years. It actually puzzled me a bit why she agreed to marry my FIL, because it was quite clear that the ensuing years would entail difficulties. My FIL is not a young man anymore, he can hardly be called wealthy and he is known to be short-tempered.

Over the years of this new marriage, she tried her best to take care of my FIL. As the old man's health deteriorated and his need for attention became more demanding, the challenges became tougher. There were voices of dissatisfaction from both sides of the family. At one instance, some of my wife's brothers even took the drastic attempt of trying to separate them.

But the will of the Almighty is great... the old couple remained together despite the troubles and my stepmother-in-law did her best in carrying out her duties. She may have grumbled a bit, here and there... but that's to be expected. Taking care of an old and temperamental man is not easy work by any means... but she stuck to the job very well. Only Allah swt can repay her for her patience and kindness.

Hajjah Satirah Bt Omar passed away on 2nd December 2010 at the age of 74. May Allah swt bless and protect her soul. Ameen.

A new addition to the family

On Saturday, my brother-in-law (my wife's youngest brother) got engaged to a sweet young lady from Bagan Datoh in Perak. I was part of the `rombongan meminang' which included four elder sisters, two elder brothers and an assortment of in-laws, nephews, nieces and friends. It is the first time we are all to meet the young lady in person.

We assembled at my brother's house at Shah Alam very early in the morning and it took us nearly three hours to get to the young lady's place by way of the coastal road via Kuala Selangor and Sabak Bernam. My brother's fiancee hails from a kampung in Hutan Melintang. This prompted some of us to jest that my brother would be marrying an `orang hutan', hehehe...

God willing, the wedding would take place in February next year. We welcome Cik Nurul-huda Ismail as the latest addition to our extended family.

Part of the gifts from the gentleman's side, Godiva chocolates. The name comes from the legend of Lady Godiva of Coventry in England. Google the name to read about the interesting legend.

Nine trays of gifts from the lady's side in return for seven

A happily smiling bride-to-be